


Skyhold University's Coffee Shop

by lilnaugrim



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Birthright Pendent, Cullen Has Issues, Cullen in Denial, Cullen is a Good Friend, Cullen's Coffee Shop, Dorian Has Issues, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Jealous Cullen, Learning Friendship, M/M, Rape, Rape Recovery, Skyhold University, learning to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6948010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen's wonderful routine is broken up, shattered, and splintered all by one man. Dorian Pavus. Cullen owns a coffee shop at the edge of campus where Dorian is studying for his Doctorate degree after leaving Tevinter. The two strike up a friendship and learn how to have a relationship along the way. Dorian blames himself for ending up in the hospital some time later and Cullen does his best to tell him it wasn't his fault. Dorian eventually pushes on buttons that he knew he shouldn't, Cullen doesn't want to see him after all. Dorian has to right the wrongs that he's made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Man and his Coffee Shop

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! I just wanted to let you know that any "Tevene" you find here is directly from latin, I didn't attempt to change any of it to fit the Tevene language so that you all could have the pleasure of translating it through google or whatever to figure out it's meaning! I've made sure that they at least make sense in the story! This also means that it could be very wrong so any Latin Major's out there, I apologize in advance!

                Cullen looked around in his coffee shop, it was nothing fancy but his customers seemed to enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of the shop. He cleaned off some of the tables as his employee helped the man who had stepped up to the counter to order his drink.

  “Cassandra, I’m going on my break, I’ll be out back if you need me,” he told the woman as she readied the man’s drink.

  “As you do every day Commander,” she chuckled to him. Cullen liked his routine; it’s what kept him stable. He smiled and nodded to her as he left the shop to sit outside in the summer sun for a few minutes. Cassandra was a great person to work with; she was dedicated and very passionate about their little shop. He entrusted her with fundraisers and the planning for their shop, he was the front man just because he had a pretty face, or so he was told. He, personally, didn’t think that his scarred lip wasn’t anything pretty, in fact, he hated the scar. He grumbled to himself when he thought about the incident that caused it in the first place and it only made him sink into deeper and darker thoughts. The sun tried to pull him from his dark mind, he was grateful when he went to sit outside on the rock wall behind the establishment.

                Cullen had started his coffee shop soon after he’d been honorably discharged from the army he had served in for nearly ten years. He was grateful to be out of the service, there wasn’t so much threat of dying at any moment now that he was home from his tours but he missed the strict regime of the army. He did his best to continue with his rigid routine and Cassandra played along with him, knowing that it helped him. The coffee shop was situated just off campus of a very prestigious university so it was often filled with university students who were writing papers or meeting with their groups on group projects. The joint actually made out very well in profits which always pleased Cullen. He was happy to serve the community in a different capacity though, it was different than serving in a war but he enjoyed his occupation now.

                The sun was out and shining brightly down on the Commander, he sighed contently as he sipped on his hot black coffee. It was spring time, mid-semester for the campus and the area was all abuzz with the warmer air finally settling in. The winter had been long and arduous for the campus, it had been abnormally snowy which always put a damper on Cullen’s mood when it was dark and dreary but the steady flow of kids into his coffee shop always helped him revive the joy he had for living. Now that the sun was out, most of the kids would still get their coffee but some didn’t hang around, instead they went back outside to bask in the light and heat just as Cullen was doing now.

                Spring birds flew overhead and Cullen dreamed of what it would be like to fly, how free he’d be. He always did enjoy flying and parachuting, he’d even done HALO jumps as well. He tore his mind from his army days and tried to think about what he’d do when he got home to his apartment later. He sighed in thinking that he’d do the same thing he did every night, damn; he really needed to get a hobby or maybe find a girlfriend. Cullen grumbled and rubbed at his head before he ran his fingers through his golden hair with another sigh. He felt like he was always sighing, always thinking negative things about life. _How could one think such negative thoughts on a day like this?_ He thought to himself, he shook his head before he gathered himself to get back to work; his fifteen minute break was over.

                Cassandra was running the shop like a dream; she knew how to prioritize and did it with extreme ease. Cullen was always jealous of that, he could lead an army just fine; he could inspire others with a speech but prioritizing and being organized? Not so much. He still smiled to her when he returned to the job, grinning to the students as he bid them a greeting and took their offers.

                It was nearing closing time when a young man walked in, he clearly wasn’t from the area. Cullen would hazard a guess that he was from someplace warmer judging by the pea-coat he still wore. His fashion choices were slightly absurd but somehow, the man pulled it off just fine. Cullen scoffed at him inwardly as the man looked around and then to the menu above Cullen’s head. Cullen had bid Cassandra a farewell previously as she left before he did and opened the store in the morning where Cullen came in a little later. He had just finished giving the counter a good scrub before the man walked in.

  “Can I help you?” Cullen asked him, interrupting the man’s reading. The kid looked to Cullen as a smile started to blossom on his face.

  “Well, it depends,” he chuckled. His accent was definitely not Ferelden nor was it from Orlais. It seemed to be closer to the Free Marches but Cullen couldn’t pin it just yet.

  “Did you have something in mind?” Cullen asked him, leaning on the counter as the kid approached him.

  “Tall, pale, and blonde?” the man smirked at him as he mimicked Cullen’s lean on the counter across from him. Cullen knew he had a small blush creeping into his cheeks but he tried his best to keep his composure.

  “Ah, we aren’t that kind of establishment,” Cullen stood up straight to finish up his cleaning.

  “And what kind of establishment is that?” the man asked.

  “We’re a coffee shop, now if you don’t want anything then you can just scoot along. I don’t mind if you want to sit and study but I’ll be closing up soon,” he offered as he started to clean the espresso machine.

  “A shame,” the man shrugged. “I did have something in mind though but I couldn’t help it and I apologize, you have a very distracting figure,” the man tried to look Cullen up and down but half the counter was in the way. Cullen saw the look all the same, he’d been hit on plenty of times by both men and women but his kid made him a little more uncomfortable with his obvious glances.

  “Thank you…I think,” Cullen said quietly either way, it was a compliment. “What can I get you?” he asked as he threw the towel over his shoulder.

  “I see you were cleaning the espresso machine, does that then mean it is out of the question?” he asked, pointing to it.

  “No, you can get one if you’d like,” Cullen shook his head.

  “Alright,” the man smiled before he looked over the menu, “Let’s see,” he murmured as he looked under the options for the espresso. “How about café mocha?” he asked, looking back to Cullen.

 “Sure, would you like whipped cream? It’s freshly made each day,” Cullen tried to sell him on it.

  “Whatever you make is bound to taste amazing,” the kid winked at him. Cullen looked him over; he was definitely not from Ferelden. The shorn hair at his ears was a clear indication for starters; the fact that he also had evenly tanned skin was another. The kid had a lovely mustache though; Cullen always had a hard time growing a full beard. The kid’s mustache twirled up at the ends and he had another patch just below his lip. Cullen kept calling him a kid, but he was likely an older student.

  “So…is that a yes?” Cullen asked, needing the clarification.

  “It is,” he replied.

  “Would you like any sugar or extra mocha swirl on top?” Cullen asked him as he blended the café with the espresso and the chocolate syrup.

  “Just an extra swirl, please,” the man nodded to him.

  “Alright,” Cullen said. He set the drink down and bent to get the whipped cream from the mini fridge under the counter. It was in a small plastic baggie, they had found it was easier to place the cream into serving sized baggies and cut them from there to serve; it kept the cream fresher. The college kid watched as Cullen expertly cut the small corner of the bag with ridged edges before he squeezed it out over the drink to form a spiral, the spiked edges of the bag created a wonderful star-like pattern in the cream. Cullen then took the small jar of chocolate syrup out and took a spoon, dipped it in and then drizzled it on top of the drink in a line stroke pattern. “This’ll be four twenty two,” Cullen said as he sat the drink on the counter for the man. The kid pulled out a five from his jacket and handed it to Cullen with a smile.

  “Keep the change,” he said before he picked the cup up to try out the drink. The whipped cream stuck to the mustache and his nose which made Cullen chuckle lightly.

  “Thanks,” Cullen nodded as he sat the extra change into the tip jar they had out.

  “So how does a handsome fellow like you end up in a coffee joint like this?” the kid asked him, sitting the drink down to clean off his nose and mustache with a smirk; he’d done it on purpose clearly.

  “I own this joint,” Cullen told him.

  “Is that so?” he asked, he didn’t seem overly surprised but there was a small sparkle in his eye still.

  “It is,” Cullen nodded, “I started it after coming home from tour a year and a half ago,” he shrugged. The man seemed to be debating something as he stroked the small patch of beard under his lip meaningfully.

  “You were with the Templar’s?” he asked to which Cullen simply nodded and went about his cleaning again, “no wonder you have such wonderful musculature,” he purred as he followed Cullen’s movements over the counter. He took off his jacket and went to sit on one of the stools. Cullen noticed the strange leathers that the man was wearing, no wonder he was cold; his entire shoulder was exposed, only the left one. But Cullen couldn’t really judge he supposed, the university was filled with different and strange kids.

  “You aren’t from around here, are you?” Cullen had to ask him, his accent was driving him insane. “I spent time in the Free Marches and you sound similar, is that were you are from?” he asked. The man scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes.

  “Just like a Ferelden to assume,” he shook his head. “No, I’m from Tevinter,” he said with a little smirk.

  “A Vint?!” Cullen’s head shot up, it all started to make sense now. The fact that the man was cold in this glorious weather, his styled hair and the fashion choices underneath his coat, the accent, it all fit.

  “Are you so surprised?” he asked.

  “Well…we just don’t get many of you down this way,” Cullen said from the espresso machine on the back island, cleaning it thoroughly as he took it apart; done for the day. His back turned to the man at his counter still.

  “I’m not surprised, given the nature of everything. It’s too damn cold down here,” the man shivered with his grumble.

  “Why in Thedas did you come to Skyhold University if you didn’t like the cold? It’s cold three out of four seasons here!” Cullen exclaimed to him, turning his head to raise his eyebrow at the man. He simply looked back to Cullen and away before he sighed; discontented.

  “I’d rather not talk about it honestly,” he fingered the rim of his cup before he licked up the whipped cream from his finger. Cullen blushed to himself when he saw how he scooped up the cream with his finger and stuck it into his mouth to suck on it erotically. Cullen knew he was doing it on purpose and tried to not let on that it was definitely doing something to Cullen.

  “So what’s your major?” Cullen asked instead.

  “I’m here for my Doctorate degree in Physics,” the man shrugged. Cullen looked back to him again, there was no way this man was nearly as old as Cullen was. The man saw the look and smirked, “yes, yes, I know, I don’t look old enough,” he chuckled. “Truth is, I’m not, I’m twenty four,” he revealed.

  “How in Andraste’s name are you on your Doctorate already?” Cullen had to ask him. He’d seen plenty of smart kids come through his shop, some even close to genius level but never one this young before.

  “What can I say? I’m a genius,” he chuckled and grinned at Cullen’s look. “Most of us in Minrathous that are my age, we’re all quite similar in intellect due to our families trying to… _distill_ …the perfect human,” he went on; he seemed dissatisfied with his homeland. “Many of us…we’re all quite unhappy with our lives but most just put up with it and marry themselves off to whom their parents tell them to. To make a stronger, more intelligent child who would then grow up to be married off to another to create yet another…” he seemed to become agitated as he spoke.

  “So the stories of Tevinter are true then?” Cullen asked him.

  “Which stories? There are many, some untrue but many are…unfortunately, true,” he scoffed before he took a sip of the coffee, the whipped cream all gone now.

  “About the Magisterium and the Magister’s and all,” Cullen asked him, he finished the espresso machine and went on to empty the iced coffee machine and clean that one as well.

  “Ah, well, breeding the perfect human being? Yes, that is mostly just the Magisters and the Altus statuses, the Soparati couldn’t care less to be honest,” he shrugged, sipping more of his coffee as he watched Cullen work; admiring his backside.

  “So…that makes you, a Magister?” Cullen asked him since it seemed like the man was part of that life.

  “I am an Altus, son of a Magister,” he nodded.

  “What’s the difference?” Cullen asked, he accidentally misjudged the slipperiness on the container of iced coffee he was holding and it fell against the sink that he’d walked to. The fall caused the iced coffee to splash out and cover Cullen’s face. The Tevinter grinned and chuckled at him as Cullen sighed and wiped his face off. “You didn’t see that,” Cullen warned him.

  “Of course not,” he grinned, even his teeth were perfect. “Anyway, an Altus is just slightly lower than a Magister. A Magister holds a seat in the Magisterium and an Altus is just a higher status in society,” he explained it.

  “Oh, okay, so like our nobles then?” Cullen asked.

  “Similar,” the man nodded. Cullen shrugged with the information and went on to finish cleaning the machine before he replaced it back on the counter. The man was quiet for a little bit, sipping on his coffee and checking his phone as Cullen went on to start cleaning the restaurant portion. He could feel the man watching him as he wiped down the tables and picked up the chairs to lay them on the tables so he could eventually wash the floor when he was near to being done.

  “This is good coffee,” the man told Cullen.

  “Thanks,” he replied and went on until all the chairs were up on the tables and Cullen flipped his sign over to say it was now closed.

  “I’m not stuck here now, am I?” the man chuckled with the sign flip.

  “Nah, just locked on the outside,” Cullen shook his head before he went to clean off the counter.

  “I wouldn’t mind it though.”

  “Mind what?” Cullen asked him.

  “Being stuck here with you,” the dark hair man mused at him.

  “Do you flirt with every guy you see?” Cullen asked him.

  “Only the handsome ones,” he hid a smile in his cup as he finished it off and gave it back to Cullen. Cullen gave him a look but took the cup anyway to bring it to the back. He added it to the dishwasher and pulled the hood down to allow the cycle to start up. He came back out with his mop and bucket of water to start on washing the room. “And capable I see,” the man was happy to lounge back against the counter, showing off the curves in his body.

  “Well thanks for the compliment but I’m going to have to kick you out,” Cullen started to mop up the floor near the windows and door to make his way back eventually to the counter where he’d then exit through the back door as he made sure everything was locked down.

  “What a shame, I enjoyed talking to you,” the man picked up his coat and came over to the door.

  “Well, we’re open every day from five in the morning to four in the afternoon, you can come back whenever you like,” Cullen shrugged as he mopped up the floor.

  “You can count on it, amicus,” the man smiled before he left the shop. Cullen had to stop mopping to look out the windows and watch the man walk to the curb as he adorned his coat in the chilly air. He chuckled to himself as he watched as the man shivered physically and then waited. Another man walked up to him with a grin, it was a Qunari which surprised Cullen. It was well known that the Tevinter and Qunari didn’t get along, but this man seemed different from the Vint’s he’d heard about before. Cullen wasn’t sure how to feel when the man reached up and pulled the Qunari into a kiss, it wasn’t just a chaste kiss, it seemed to mean something between the two of them. The Qunari grinned at the man and took him to his side as they started to walk away with their arms around each other, the Qunari’s hand went down to squeeze on the Vint’s ass before it stayed there until they were out of view. Cullen found himself blushing; he’d just spied on the man that he just met! Cassandra would have had a field day with the Vint had she been there when he arrived, she wasn’t always the most tactful person.

                Cullen quickly pushed himself back into working, he needed to finish up and go home. He worked his way back to the counter and then behind it. He finished up in the kitchen and emptied the dirty water out the door. He then made sure the register had been emptied and locked before he locked up the kitchen and finally the back door. He looked up to the sun still in the sky and smiled, he still had plenty of daylight left to work around his house. He grabbed his motorcycle and started it up as he donned his leather jacket and sunglasses. Finally, off to home he went, a smile on his face still as he listened to music and thought about the strange Vint.


	2. Finally, Introductions!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen takes Titus out for a walk in the dog park and meets some interesting people! Cullen thinks about the Vint that he's just met.

  “Hey pup!” Cullen greeted his Mabari when he was home. The dog was quick to run and jump up at him; greeting him with his tongue and slobber. Cullen laughed at the affection and quickly pet the dog where he could reach. “Alright, alright, down! That’s enough!” he told the dog. The dog was quick to obey him; his tail stub wagging hard which in turn made his entire backside shake with glee. “You ready for some exercise?” he asked as he hung up his leather coat and wiped the slobber from his sunglasses. The happy Mabari jumped around in a circle as he woofed, he quickly dropped his front in a playful manner. “Alright, do you want to go to the dog park?” he asked, grabbing the harness for his pup. The Mabari yipped again and trotted over to Cullen to get dressed, signaling that he definitely wanted to go to the park. “Okay, sounds good to me too,” Cullen smiled at him. He let the Mabari step into the harness and pulled it up, the dog panting and waiting patiently for Cullen to fasten it together. Cullen clipped the leash onto the harness and made sure the house was in order first before he led the dog outside. The dog wanted to pull since he hadn’t been to the park in about a week, he was very excited but he wanted to please Cullen as well. Cullen smiled down at his dog as they walked together, the Mabari finally stayed by his side instead of trying to lead them on.

  “Good boy!” he was pleased with him and gave him a treat, the Mabari was quick to take it but gentle with him. Cullen hummed quietly as he walked his dog to the park down a block. There were two other people there with their Mabari as well, chatting as their dogs played. Cullen’s Mabari pulled for a moment as his ears perked and he watched the two dogs playing but quickly settled by Cullen’s side again to wait until they were in the park. Cullen treated him once more before they were inside and he unclipped the dog. “Alright bud, go ahead!” he grinned and watched the dog take off towards the other two. Cullen chuckled as his nearly ran over the other two but the three quickly went to sniffing each other before they romped around. Cullen went to join the other two to be friendly.

  “Good looking Mabari you have,” the woman smiled to him.

  “Thanks,” Cullen nodded to her.

  “What’s his name?” she asked him, including him to their little group.

  “Titus,” Cullen answered with a smile.

  “Very appropriate, he is a larger Mabari,” she nodded with a smile, knowing that Titus meant _of the giants_ in Tevene. “Strange that you’d pick a Tevinter name though,” she mused.

  “He actually came with it, he was bred for Grey Warden use but never quite made it I guess. Then he became a therapy dog for vets like me,” Cullen shrugged.

  “I see,” she nodded.

  “What’s yours?” he asked, looking to the dogs who were all running around chasing each other.

  “Mine is the white one, he kind of reminded me of a pet Nug I had when I was a kid so his name is Mr. Schmooples the Third,” she giggled. Cullen had his eyebrow arched but he tried not to be so judgmental, but seriously, who kept a Nug as a pet?

  “That’s…cute,” he remarked with a nod. The other man stood stoically as he watched the dogs play, he had a very full beard and mustache, one that Cullen was slightly jealous of. “What about you?” Cullen asked him, the man looked to Cullen with the question.

  “What about me?” he asked, his voice gruff.

  “What’s your Mabari’s name?” he clarified.

  “Rainer,” the man replied simply.

  “Good name,” Cullen nodded. “I’m Cullen,” he introduced himself.

  “Blackwall.”

  “Leliana,” the woman smiled, “it’s good to meet you Cullen,” she nodded, her red hair bouncing around with the wind.

  “And you,” he smiled back. The trio, or at least mostly Leliana and Cullen, spoke for a while as their dogs ran around and played with each other. Blackwall did talk more later towards the end but he still gave fairly short answers to them when asked questions.

  “You are familiar to me,” Leliana mused as she looked at Cullen.

  “Well…um, I own a coffee shop so maybe you’ve seen me there?” he asked.

  “Oh! Is that the one in Skyhold University?” she asked.

  “The same,” he nodded.

  “You must know Cassandra then!” she smiled gleefully.

  “I do, she’s my employee,” he nodded, “do you know her?”

  “Do I know her?” Leliana retorted, “we’ve been friends for nearly eight years now! We were both in the service as well, I toured with the Hero of Ferelden back some ten years ago,” she nodded. At the mention of the woman that had started it all for Cullen, he went rigid.

  “I…I was part of the Templar’s who protected her tour, the Hero I mean,” he explained quietly.

  “Ah, we must have crossed paths at some point then, yes?” she asked.

  “It is likely,” he nodded. “So um…my shop, if you’re friends with Cassandra, why haven’t I seen you there before?” he asked her, trying to avoid the topic of the Hero.

  “I stop there almost daily!” she told him. “But it’s usually early morning when Cassandra has just opened the place,” she explained.

  “Oh…okay,” he nodded. Titus came bounding over to him and pulled at the leash in Cullen’s hand before he looked up at him, panting happily. “Are you done already?” Cullen asked him, surprised since he normally spent a good hour at least running around; it’d only been close to forty five minutes. Titus yipped at him and chomped at air a few times, his usual signal that he was hungry. “Oh, alright, it’s dinner time,” he chuckled before he clipped the leash to Titus’s harness. “Well it was good to meet you two, maybe we’ll run into each other again,” Cullen waved to the other two as they also bid him a farewell. Cullen walked with Titus, whistling as they walked and Titus panted from his play.

                Cullen fixed Titus a dinner when they were finally home; he chopped up the raw meat and veggies for his spoiled dog and mixed them together. Titus patiently watched Cullen work from his side and finally dug in when Cullen put the bowl down on the floor.

  “There you go pup, is that good?” he asked with a smile. Titus didn’t answer him which meant that it was delicious. Cullen grinned to himself before he went to wash his hands in the sink and start on his own dinner. He pulled out leftovers from yesterday and dished them out onto a plate before he stuck it in the microwave and started to reheat it. He thoughts started to wander to that Tevinter he met today. Cullen kept wondering what his name could be, he couldn’t keep calling him _kid_ or _man_ or _Vint_ in his head, he needed a name to go with the face. Normally Cullen was good at getting names and remembering them, it’s what made his customers enjoy chatting with him; he could remember most of what they had talked about previously and their names and the drinks they ordered if they had a usual drink. But for whatever reason, Cullen had been too chicken to ask the man’s name, okay, he wasn’t chicken, he was just distracted. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at himself, “how pathetic…” he sighed to himself. Titus picked his head up to look at him with a tilt, wondering if Cullen was talking about him. “Not you boy, me,” he clarified. Titus seemed content again and went back to chowing down on his dinner.

                Cullen ate his dinner at the table quietly as he listened to the news from his TV. The war was still going on but he wasn’t a part of it now. He hated to watch the media and wasn’t sure why but every day at six, he’d watch or listen to it until it disgusted him and he’d turn it off. Then he’d clean up the kitchen after he’d eaten and cleaned out Titus’s bowl as well. Then he’d prepare his lunch for the next day and when that was done he’d go work out for an hour in his living room with Titus. Titus loved to imitate Cullen and would do so the best he could when Cullen would work-out. His best was pushups; it always made Cullen happy to see his dog doing his best for him. After that was done, he’d take a nice cool shower and ready himself for bed. Titus would climb up onto the queen sized mattress even with Cullen’s disapproval; he’d lie down on Cullen as the man would pet him until he fell asleep.

Cullen woke in the morning to go on his run with Titus, allow him to use the bathroom and then get ready for work. He’d shave, careful of his upper lip and its scar and then he’d gel his hair back to get it to stay propped up. Cullen would make his and Titus’s breakfast and serve them both. He’d eat his food and then clean up their dishes once more. He would grab his lunch from the fridge and then say goodbye to Titus. Titus hated this part, he’d always try to get Cullen to stay but Cullen would always leave him, he’d whine and whimper until he knew Cullen was out of earshot.

  “You ought to start bringing Titus to work,” Cassandra said to him when he showed up at nine to help her.

  “He’s a dog; he doesn’t belong in a coffee shop!” Cullen furrowed his brow to her as she served one of the customers their drink.

  “Yes but he is your dog and he’s a very lovable Mabari, he would have a blast hanging out with all the customers,” she shrugged and took the next persons order. Cullen thought about it as he made the drinks and handed them to Cassandra. He thought about it through the day, he even asked some of the customers what they thought about it. Some wouldn’t mind at all, others were ecstatic at the thought and some weren’t fond of it in case of dog fur in coffee. Cullen wracked his brain thinking about this all day, he said farewell to Cassandra as she left and he finished out his day. He kicked himself; he forgot to mention that he’d met Leliana! Oh well, there was always tomorrow.

                Cullen was happy to talk to one of his regulars about the strange week they had been having, he laughed and agreed when they told him about what had been going on. The woman seemed relieved to be talking to him at the end; she let him know that she thoroughly enjoyed their conversations before leaving. Cullen waved to her and went about his business to wait for the next customer to come in. He’d forgotten all about the Tevinter until the man came sauntering in, his outfit was again ridiculous but he pulled it off. Cullen wanted to know his secret on how he made everything look so good, but this wasn’t the time to ask.

  “I apologize,” the man started off, it threw Cullen off as he tilted his head.

  “For what?”

  “I didn’t introduce myself yesterday,” the man smiled. _Ah, finally_ , Cullen thought. “Dorian Pavus,” he offered his hand to shake.

  “Cullen Rutherford,” Cullen smiled and shook his hand firmly; he seemed to have hurt the man as the Tevinter gave a slight wince to the shake but smiled all the same. “What can I do for you today Mr. Pavus?” he asked, leaning on the counter again.

  “Oh, please, just Dorian,” the man corrected him, “Mr. Pavus is my father…” he trailed off for a moment; his eyes went dark at the mention. Speaking of his eyes, they were incredibly beautiful, Cullen thought. Dorian’s eyes seemed to be this sort of mixture of colors that ended up being the perfect shade of silver, or at least, what looked like silver.

  “Apologies, Dorian,” Cullen nodded to him.

  “I’d like what I had yesterday if you don’t mind,” Dorian smiled at him with an affirmative nod.

  “Great! One café mocha with whipped cream and chocolate drizzled on top!” Cullen announced and went to work. Dorian chuckled at him and took out his five dollar bill to place it on the counter.

  “You seem chipper today,” Dorian noted.

  “Should I not be?” Cullen asked over his shoulder as he mixed the espresso in with the coffee.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that,” Dorian shook his head and moved away from the counter and down to the bar to sit and be closer to Cullen. “I just meant that it was nice is all.”

  “A happy barista is a happy customer,” Cullen smiled to him. Dorian nodded and sat quietly as he waited for Cullen to finish with his drink, watching as he sliced the little baggie open again and swirled his freshly made whipped cream onto the drink and then drizzled the chocolate on top. He cheerfully brought it down to Dorian who seemed distant this day. “You alright friend? You look a little down,” Cullen noted.

  “It’s nothing,” Dorian tried to smile to him. Cullen dropped the subject, Dorian clearly wasn’t okay but he didn’t press it as he’d only known the man for about twenty four hours now.

  “So have you met any Mabari yet? Being form Tevinter, I doubt you have our dogs up there?” Cullen asked him, wanting his opinion as well.

  “Is that what those ugly things are called?” Dorian screwed his face up with the thought.

  “Hey! They aren’t ugly!” Cullen growled at him lightly. “They’re the most intelligent animals on this planet!” he said defiantly. Dorian chuckled at him.

  “You haven’t met our dogs, have you?” he asked before he took a deep sip from his coffee now that he’d licked off the whipped cream again.

  “I don’t really care to,” Cullen shrugged, “our dogs are better.” Dorian did smile at him, those pearly white teeth again.

  “You’re quite ostentatious, you know that?” he accused.

  “Am not! I just know our dogs are better than yours!” Cullen said before he left to help another customer who’d walked in and to the counter. Dorian chuckled and shook his head, he relished in his coffee that warmed his insides. Cullen happily took the young girl’s order and started to serve her. He watched Dorian out of the corner of his eye, the man started to fidget when Cullen purposely chatted with the girl. Cullen gave her the iced coffee and talked for a bit longer, leaning on the counter like he did with Dorian. It was clear that the man was jealous that another customer had taken Cullen’s attention, it made Cullen grin. He bid the girl a goodbye and good luck on her midterm tests. Cullen started to clean up the counter of coffee drops, ignoring Dorian for the time to let him brew. He was sure that Dorian would peg him as a bad friend after this but it was much too fun to watch him squirm.

  “Rutherford?” Dorian finally called him over.

  “Hm? What is it?” Cullen looked over to him as he walked over.

  “Don’t suppose I could get another?” he asked sheepishly, handing him the empty cup.

  “Sure thing, same thing or--?” Cullen asked him.

  “Black with a shot of espresso, please,” he said and watched Cullen work away.

  “So anyway, what I meant to ask you was this. Cassandra, my employee here, she suggested that I bring in my Mabari and let him hang out in the store. He’d enjoy all the attention and whatnot but I’ve just been gathering everyone’s opinions about it, whether it’s something I should do or not,” he went on as he brought over the coffee pot to fill up Dorian’s cup.

  “A Mabari…in here?” Dorian asked him, his eyebrow lifting before he took a sip of the hot coffee and reveled in the smooth taste of it.

  “What, you aren’t afraid, are you?” Cullen taunted him with a chuckle.

  “Of course not, I just don’t believe it is a suitable place for a…dog,” Dorian told him.

  “Would you stop coming if I happened to bring him in?” Cullen asked, this time he hung around Dorian and leaned against the bar so he could see out over the restaurant. Some kids were still working in the corner, another near the door.

  “Perhaps, it depends on his attitude honestly,” Dorian shrugged, he really wasn’t sure how he’d handle the Mabari; he’d yet to meet one officially.

  “Well, if you decide you don’t want to, I’m going to give him a trial run tomorrow and see what happens,” Cullen warned him. “Besides, it would probably help a lot of the students relieve stress for their midterms and all,” he nodded; the kids were all busy studying hard.

  “I suppose,” Dorian agreed with him.

  “So how is your degree program going? Do you have midterms too?” Cullen asked him.

  “They’ve already passed, it’s more of a check up on how your dissertation is going,” he shrugged.

  “And…is it going well?” he asked. Dorian looked at him and nodded with a small smile. “Good, that’s what I like to hear!” Cullen grinned at him. “I don’t serve coffee to slackers,” he chuckled with his joke.

  “I’m anything but!” Dorian confirmed him. “In fact, I have my study partner coming around shortly,” he looked at his phone and then to the door.

  “Have you made many friends here since you came down?” Cullen asked.

  “A fair few,” he nodded when he looked back to Cullen.

  “Good, I could always set you up with a couple people if you needed to, I know practically everyone on campus and I know a couple smart people,” Cullen offered him politely.

  “Thank you, but no, I’ll be fine,” Dorian smiled, his eyes crinkling with his true smile.

  “Alright, well, you just let me know if you need anything, okay?” Cullen patted his hand before he stood up to get on with his cleaning routine as his day was coming to a close.

  “Sure thing,” Dorian told him and went back to looking at his phone. Cullen still wondered about what the kid was upset over, it was clear that something was bothering him. Perhaps he didn’t actually do well on his exams? He knew that sometimes the smarter students would agonize if they didn’t get the full grade because of something silly or if they happened to answer a question wrong, many of them were perfectionists it seemed. Dorian didn’t seem to be upset over schoolwork though, it was something else that bothered him. The fact that Dorian didn’t flirt with him at all was strange too, maybe he didn’t flirt all the time but Cullen had kind of figured that it was part of his nature.

                Cullen watched Dorian leave again, this time a different person came around to greet him, it was an Elf boy who was taller than Dorian was. Dorian smiled at him and allowed the Elf to swoop in and kiss him just as passionately as the Qunari yesterday. Cullen’s brow furrowed as he watched, did this man have a new boyfriend every day? Or maybe he was dumped by the Qunari and found an Elf instead? Cullen hummed to himself but tore his eyes away to continue his work instead of watching the man and Elf disappear around the corner.

                Cullen did his routine and went home. Titus was happy to greet him but tilted his head when he sensed that Cullen’s mood hadn’t improved when he saw the dog. Titus stopped Cullen from walking and quickly stood up on his back legs to get his arms on Cullen’s shoulders. He tilted his head again and seemed to ask him what was wrong.

  “It’s strange,” Cullen mused. “I was so happy but for whatever reason, talking with a gloomy man today made me gloomy too…” he huffed. He hugged his Mabari close and kissed the furred cheek in affection. “I’m alright pup, just a little confused is all,” he let the dog down. Titus kept his full attention on his human as Cullen started to chop up his dinner, Titus didn’t focus on the dinner though, he listened patiently to Cullen.

  “Dorian Pavus…he’s an Altus from Tevinter,” at the name, Titus gave a low growl. “Hey, they aren’t all bad you know,” Cullen scolded him. “He’s an interesting kid though, he’s twenty four and he’s already on his PhD, do you know how impressive that is?” he asked his dog. Titus huffed like he didn’t care. “Well, he seemed really gloomy today, there was definitely something wrong with him but I couldn’t put my finger on it. You know how kids sometimes agonize over their midterms and tests and such? Well, I thought maybe that’s what was wrong with him since he’s a genius in all, but it definitely wasn’t it. It might be to do with his boyfriend?” Cullen mused. Titus quirked his head at the fact that Dorian was gay. “I saw him with a Qunari yesterday and today he had an Elf with him! He said it was his study-partner though…” Cullen wondered, maybe he had an alternate meaning to that phrase. Cullen blushed as his mind had quickly conjured up an image of Dorian getting slammed by the Elf. “Eh…probably not,” he shook his head to himself and put the food down for Titus. Titus gave him a funny look but went to eat anyway.

                The two went out for an hour run and walk before they played in the small fenced yard together. Cullen’s mind kept drifting to Dorian and what might be wrong with the poor man. Even at bedtime, he couldn’t get the college student out of his head.

  “Maker…what the hell is wrong with me?” he asked himself. He’d been plenty concerned for customers before but Dorian was taking his mind over. “Well…at least you’ll get to meet him tomorrow if you want to come to the store with me, Cassandra said it would be good,” he told Titus. Titus rolled over and started to lick Cullen happily with the news. “Alright, alright, I get it. Come on, off to bed now,” he told the pup. Titus continued to wag his nub of a tail as he hunkered down to drape himself over Cullen who was on his back. Cullen stroked the dog on top of him as he fell into slumber.


	3. A Mabari in the Coffee Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen decides to bring Titus in to the shop! Dorian is afraid of the dog as well as jealous.

                Cullen slept soundly through the night, not a nightmare to be had. He awoke refreshed and rearing to go. He and Titus went out for their usual walk and then back for breakfast before he readied them for work. Cullen brushed him out and made sure his short fur was at least well-groomed for the public.

  “How about your bowtie, want to look handsome today?” Cullen asked him with a grin, he took the black bowtie collar off its hook and clipped it around the Mabari’s neck. Titus grinned to him and woofed with appreciation as Cullen praised him and told him how handsome he looked. Then came the harness, once that was fastened again, Cullen clipped the leash on and finally led his dog out to his motorcycle. Cullen sat on the bike and started it up, once he gave the signal, Titus jumped up behind him and sat down to put his paws over Cullen’s shoulders to hang on. “You ready buddy?” he asked with a grin. Titus howled out and wagged his little stubby tail. Cullen grinned and finally drove off towards work. Cullen loved to drive with his dog and Titus adored it as well, he would yip to people who smiled at them to greet them. Titus’s tongue was lolled out the entire time he was riding; unfortunately the ride had to come to an end. Cullen parked in the back of his building and let his dog off first. Titus stayed close by and waited for Cullen to shut the bike off and kick out the kickstand.

  “You ready for all the pets you’re going to get today?” Cullen chuckled at him as he led the dog through the kitchen. Titus barked at him and wagged his little nubby tail. “Alright, you behave yourself and don’t get into any trouble, you hear?” he bent down to kiss his dog’s head. Titus whipped his head up to lick his face instead. Cullen dried his face but unclipped the harness to take it off and hang it in the kitchen. “Alright, go ahead pup!” he shooed him along.

  “You brought him!” Cassandra exclaimed happily as he came in donning his black apron. Titus first went up to greet Cassandra, he waited until she put the cup of coffee down to jump up and give her a hug. “It’s so good to see you Titus!” she was happy with the face licking and giggled like a girl.

  “Alright boy, go greet the other customers,” Cullen told him. Titus whimpered at him momentarily but Cassandra gave him a look and he got off her. She dried her own face and shooed him out to mingle with the customers. “I forgot to tell you yesterday, I met your friend, Leliana,” he said before he greeted his customers with a smile and started to take orders.

  “You did? Where?” she asked, finishing up the coffee to give to the customer.

  “Dog park, her Mabari…um, what was his name—“

  “Mr. Schmooples the Third,” Cassandra sighed and rolled her eyes, “yes, I know him,” she nodded. “He isn’t the brightest Mabari I’ve met,” she chuckled.

  “Yeah, I saw that when he ran into the chain linked fence…” Cullen agreed with her.

  “He’s a great pup though, very loyal,” she shrugged.

                Cullen went through his day, taking his breaks when he normally took them but this time he hung out with his Mabari. Titus was excited to be with Cullen for so long, this was the first time he’d taken him out like this for work. Titus started to lick at Cullen’s hand affectionately when Cullen was sitting out on the stone wall again and Titus was next to him. Cullen smiled at him as he ate his sandwich for lunch, he let his dog keep licking him knowing that Titus just wanted to show his love for the Commander.

  “Good boy,” Cullen patted his head when he was finished with his sandwich. Titus looked up at him with a smile before he rubbed his head into Cullen’s hand happily.

                Finally, it was closing time soon, still half an hour until he closed but Dorian still showed up. This day he looked much happier, that is, until he saw Titus.

  “Is he yours?” Dorian asked, stopping at the entrance when he spotted the grey and white Mabari lounging at the counter where he’d previously been greeting customers. Cullen looked up from the table he was cleaning and then to the counter where Dorian motioned.

  “Oh, yep! That’s Titus,” Cullen smiled to the man. Upon hearing his name, Titus got up to trot over to Cullen.

  “Ah…he’s cute,” Dorian tried to smile but Cullen could see that he wasn’t very happy the dog was actually here.

  “Did you want your usual?” Cullen asked, making his way to the counter, Titus followed his every movement with his tail wagging. Dorian went up to the counter now that Titus was behind it.

  “Yes please,” Dorian nodded with a smile as he laid down the five dollar bill and went to take up his usual seat.

  “How was your day?” Cullen asked, starting his small talk as he made the drink for him.

  “Oh, nothing so unusual,” Dorian shrugged, he felt something poke at his rear and looked down. “ _Maker!_ ” Dorian shrieked as he jumped to the side, away from the Mabari who had sniffed him.

  “Are you alright?” Cullen looked up. Titus stared at Dorian, trying to understand why this man was running away from him. Being the smart dog that he was, he backed away from Dorian to try to calm him.

  “Fine, fine…” Dorian grumbled quietly as he situated himself back on his stool, “Your…dog just spooked me was all,” he righted his clothing and tried to calm his breathing.

  “I can put him out back if you’re uncomfortable with him around,” Cullen offered, Titus heard him and whimpered.

  “No, no, it’s quite alright. He can stay as long as he doesn’t come near me,” Dorian told him.

  “You hear him Titus? Just keep away for a bit, alright pup?” Cullen told the dog; Titus continued to whine but settled down near the door. “Sorry, he’s really just a big cuddle bug in the end,” he served up the coffee to his friend.

  “I’m just not comfortable around Mabari, to be honest with you,” Dorian started on his whipped cream, picking it up with his finger and then licking it off as usual.

  “May I ask why?” Cullen asked him.

  “Had a wolf attack me when I was a kid,” Dorian shrugged.

  “Oh,” Cullen said, slightly disappointed. “Well, I did warn you he was going to be here,” he then remembered.

  “I know,” Dorian said simply, flicking his eyes up to Cullen. Cullen was confused.

  “Then why did you come if you knew? I don’t mean to be rude but that’s quite irresponsible of you!” Cullen folded his arms up as he practically glared to the man sitting in front of him.

  “I wanted to see you,” Dorian shrugged. Cullen started to feel uncomfortable again, that wasn’t exactly the answer he’d expected.

  “Oh…okay,” Cullen spoke, “well, I hope you don’t expect me to get rid of him all the time you know, he’s the best friend I could ever ask for,” he warned.

  “I didn’t plan on asking you,” he responded, “maybe one day I’ll get over my fears but for now, I’ll just keep a distance is all,” he sipped more of his coffee. Cullen nodded to him in understanding.

                The two went about their business, talking while Cullen started up his cleaning routine. Dorian told him about his homeland and Cullen asked him about his family but Dorian told him it was a story for another time. Dorian asked about his own family, did he have any? Cullen told him about his wonderful sister, they didn’t talk too much anymore but Mia loved him all the same. Cullen found himself talking with the man well after closing time, the floor didn’t need to be mopped today so he was happy to sit next Dorian and talk with him as they both sipped on cups of coffee. Titus sulked over to Cullen and got his muzzle up onto Cullen’s leg to get him to pet him. Dorian looked at the dog suspiciously but Titus kept away from the Tevinter. Cullen did pet the dog as they talked about their hobbies and what they liked to do, it apparently wasn’t enough attention for the Mabari.

  “I think he needs to go outside…” Dorian mused, cutting Cullen off as he watched the Mabari nip at Cullen’s hand to try to get him to pet him still.

  “Nah, he just wants attention, besides, the back door has been open for him all day, he knows that,” Cullen explained as he smiled down to his dog. Titus huffed at him and stood up to walk away. “Anyway, I have yet to really get into any hobbies. I really enjoy kind of a strict schedule; I was taught that in the army and never strayed from it. Honestly, it kind of keeps me going. A lot happened during my tours…a lot of it that I relive in dreams or if I sit and think about it…a lot of it could pull me into the deep end,” Cullen sighed, “Sorry, didn’t mean to get so personal there, I’ve never…never really talked about it honestly,” he rubbed at the back of his neck.

  “Nonsense, I enjoy our conversations. If I’m honest with myself and you, it’s been a life saver for me as well,” Dorian smiled at him, it was a simple smile but it made Cullen’s heart flutter like mad; what the hell was that? Cullen smiled back but something caught his eye, he looked to his dog over Dorian’s shoulder and furrowed his brow.

  “Titus!” he called out to his dog who was climbing up onto the chair and then onto the tables. The Mabari huffed and grumbled at his owner and made noises that Dorian had never heard a dog make before. He had to chuckle at the two as Cullen made his way over to his dog. “Get down this instant!” Cullen pointed to the ground. Titus was making a big deal out of it and howled in the nearly empty shop. “Don’t make me pick you up, you know I can!” he threatened. Titus talked more and shook his body; fur shooting everywhere. “Alright, that’s it!” Cullen growled at him and picked the dog up from his side; his arms went around the four legs to cradle his back side and his chest in order to pick him up. Titus continued to yell until he was set on the floor again and Cullen folded his arms. “Are you going to behave now? We’ll go home soon,” he told the dog. Titus yipped happily at the mention of home. “Alright, you let me finish cleaning and we’ll go home, okay?” he said, already making his way back to Dorian.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that he’s jealous!” Dorian laughed, grinning to the dog who was sitting and staring at them.

  “Jealous?! Of what?” Cullen scoffed as he sat back down in his seat next to Dorian. “He’s the one who gets to sleep with me every night,” Cullen shook his head and went back to his coffee.

  “Well I’m certainly jealous of him,” Dorian chuckled.

  “What? Why?” Cullen looked up at him.

  “As if you don’t know,” Dorian smirked, “jealous that he gets to sleep with you! A big hunk of a man!” he exclaimed and watched Cullen’s face go red as the Commander rubbed the back of his neck again.

  “Oh…uh, well, thank you…I think,” he said. Dorian chuckled at him. “Uh…did you need anything before I lock up?” Cullen got off the seat to try to escape Dorian’s gaze at him.

  “Yeah, just one thing,” Dorian stood up to meet him. Cullen was going to ask him what it was but Dorian invaded his personal space to grab onto his shirt and pull him in for a kiss. Cullen was shocked, his brain short-circuited as Dorian kissed him. _What to do, what to do?_ Cullen thought, how could he escape without hurting Dorian’s feelings? Titus was quick to act as he felt how scared Cullen was. The dog bounded to his side and growled at Dorian. Cullen quickly pushed Dorian off him but grabbed Titus’s collar to push him away.

  “I—I’m sorry,  I—oh _Maker_ , I don’t…I mean…” Cullen looked at Dorian who was warily looking down at Titus who was still growling at him from behind Cullen.

  “I’m sorry, I must have read the signals wrong,” Dorian looked back to Cullen, he seemed to be sad but at the same time, he did still kiss him. “I’ll leave now,” he picked up his jacket and left, the bell on the door ringing after him as it closed. This time, no other man met up with Dorian to kiss him.

  “ _Maker_ …what just happened?” Cullen looked down to Titus who panted at him and titled his head to the side. Titus came around his front before he stood up on his back legs; a warning that he was going to hug Cullen. Cullen accepted his dog and brought him in close. He held him for a while and Titus talked to him through noises, Cullen understood what the dog meant; he would always be there to protect Cullen. “Thanks pup, let’s go home,” he sighed and let his dog down.


	4. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian apologizes

                The next day Cullen didn’t bring Titus in and most of his customers were saddened by the fact, they had hoped he’d be around. Cullen would smile at them and tell them that he’d bring the dog in sporadically for them, just not every day. Dorian came by close to closing time again, he sighed as he entered the shop and Cullen was already mopping up.

  “Oh, Dorian, hi,” Cullen smiled at him.

  “I just wanted to…apologize for what I did to you yesterday, that was…very uncouth of me,” he avoided Cullen’s eyes.

  “It’s alright, I mean, I know I can be pretty confusing so I don’t blame you, if anything, I did a really bad job at telling you my sexual orientation,” Cullen shrugged.

  “Well, it’s not the first time that’s happened so I thank you for making it easy on me,” Dorian finally looked him in the face. Cullen was smiling at him and nodded.

   “I did…have a question though…” Cullen had wondered since the second day. He put the mop back into it’s holder as he went over to the coffee pot to pour Dorian a hot black in a to-go cup.

  “What’s that?” Dorian asked, following him.

  “The first night you went away with a Qunari, the second it was an Elf…do you often just…masquerade around? Or…I mean, I don’t mean masquerade…I—I just,” Cullen stumbled over himself, “oh _Maker_ ,” he grumbled and rubbed at his neck nervously. Dorian grinned at him.

  “I tend to switch things up…yes. Where I come from…well…” Dorian suddenly stopped, “well, it might be a story for another time unless you didn’t have plans tonight,” he looked around at the cleaned shop.

  “I don’t mind,” Cullen shrugged.

  “What about your dog? He’s at home?” Dorian looked around to see if he was here.

  “Yeah, he’s home, he’ll be fine,” Cullen shrugged. “Come on, let’s chat,” Cullen poured himself his own cup of coffee and led Dorian to the bar to sit a while.

  “Are you sure he’ll be alright?” Dorian asked which made Cullen smile.

  “Yes, he’ll be fine. He might be a little mad at me but it’s nothing I can’t endure,” he chuckled.

  “Alright, if you insist,” Dorian sipped his coffee. “Well…at home, you remember when I was telling you about distilling the perfect human being?” he asked. Cullen nodded, how could he forget the disgusting act? “Yes well…as an Altus I…I’m supposed to abide by their rules and play along, even if I don’t like it, even if…it’s not who I am. My father, he…he tried to marry me off to this awful young woman, she was beautiful but her temperament— _Maker_ , she was the ugliest human being to me because of it. My father and mother don’t get along merrily of course, so why should they wish that on their son?” he growled, clutching the cup angrily. “My father wanted…of course he wanted the Pavus line to continue, who in their right mind would deny this body?” Dorian motioned to himself which Cullen snorted at and rolled his eyes. “But it’s not who I am, I…cannot fake anything, the mere thought of marrying that…that witch, it turned me off to everything. And then! Then, the kicker!” Dorian exclaimed loudly. “My father tried to change me! He hired a hypnotist to try to…make me _normal_! Can you believe that? He was going to try to change me!” he settled himself after he’d finished. “I…I’m sorry, I haven’t yet talked about this to anyone…it’s still fresh in my memory…” he huffed and looked down at his coffee.

  “What a horrible father,” Cullen breathed out.

  “I love my father but…but I can’t go back there,” Dorian shook his head. “So…what I meant to say…because I do go for the ones of male persuasion, it’s very much acceptable in our society as long as it’s done behind closed doors and never spoken of,” Dorian huffed with the irony. “As long as you _pretend_ , no one cares, why should they?” he shook his head again and looked to his knee. “As long as you pretend to love your wife, pretend you aren’t what you are, that’s how you stay on top,” he said quietly. “Because I wouldn’t live by their rules and lie about my very existence, about who I am, I left,” he was quiet for a moment. “I…I don’t know how to have a relationship, to be honest,” he looked back to Cullen who had been observing him steadily. “I don’t know how to…to take care of another. All I know is sex and I love it, I really do. I want something more from the contact though, I want that relationship but my society has ingrained it so far into my brain that I can’t have that…that I really and truly cannot have it,” he shook his head.

  “I’m sorry Dorian,” Cullen told him.

  “Oh, it’s no bother,” Dorian shook his head and sniffled; tears had threatened at one point but were gone and replaced with his anger. “I’ve grown used to it by now, the one night stands…I shield myself from ever loving whom I sleep with. I divide myself so I feel no pain when they leave and it’s okay,” he nodded with a sorrowful smile. Cullen broke down; he couldn’t stand to see the man in so much pain over this. He slid off his stool to pull Dorian into a great big hug.

  “I’m sorry,” Cullen said to him again, Dorian seemed to melt into his embrace and hugged him back when he snaked his arms around the Commander. “Was this all a ploy to get me to hug you?” Cullen asked with a chuckle, Dorian huffed loudly in his hold.

  “Hardly!” he exclaimed, “this is real…” he added softly.

  “Tevinter is worse than I imagined,” Cullen told him.

  “It’s not so bad…” Dorian tried to defend his homeland but he knew just how bad it was over there. There were a few that wanted Tevinter to be as how Dorian had always imagined it. They were a powerful nation and others would take them seriously if they just stopped dicking around and let social statuses go just a little.

  “Forcing someone into doing something is horrible…I should know. It may not be the same but I was tortured on one of my tours, my first one to be exact. I was forced to do horrible things and I’ll never be able to forget it. But yet…I still went back again and again, glutton for punishment I suppose,” Cullen spoke, still attached to Dorian for the moment.

  “I’m sorry,” Dorian told him. “I just have to say that you’ll make a wonderful father one day,” he patted the man and let go.

  “Thank you Dorian, and…well, I can’t do…you and I…it’s just not how I work,” he motioned between them and the kiss they’d shared the day before.

  “I know that now and I’m sorry for coming on to you so quickly like that but you are a handsome man, I can’t help it if I’m attracted to you,” Dorian smiled at him, the black eyeliner around his eyes had smudged a little. Like everything else, the smudged eyeliner looked good on Dorian.

  “Well…I can’t say that you aren’t bad looking yourself,” Cullen chuckled, “but yeah…it’s just not for me, I’m sorry,” he finished off the rest of his coffee.

  “Thanks for listening…I…I really appreciate it,” Dorian fixed himself before he stood up; done making a fool of himself for the day.

  “Any time, it’s what I’m best at you know,” Cullen smiled and followed him into standing. “The listening, I mean,” he nodded.

  “Well…I think I’ll go home now so…I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dorian asked.

  “I’ll be here,” Cullen chuckled with a nod. Dorian waved to him before he left, his jacket huddled around him. Cullen felt good; he’d made a new friend. It was a strange start but he had a feeling that their friendship would grow just fine.


	5. Life Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's routine has been broken and Dorian's to blame, but really, it is't his fault.

                It was a whole month until Dorian was a little more accustomed to Titus and Titus didn’t growl at the man for kissing Cullen. Cullen would scold him when he did growl and Titus would huff at him and walk away. Eventually Titus would grow to enjoy Dorian’s company as well, especially when he brought some treats! Cullen had invited Dorian over to his house to play some chess and all around hang out and eat dinner after work. Dorian was happy to accept the invite; he was thrilled to see how Cullen lived. He marveled at the cleanliness of the house and Titus happily showed Dorian around the house. Dorian had laughed about it but Cullen informed him that he was the first person to come into their home who was invited. Dorian told him that he felt incredibly honored and allowed the Mabari to lead him around until they were done. The pair made dinner and played their game until the dinner was ready. Titus was happy to rest his head on Dorian’s leg and be pet while they played. Dorian then exclaimed how distracting Titus was and it was the cause of him losing the game to Cullen. Titus was offended at first until Dorian squished his face and turned it to Cullen to ask how this adorable face couldn’t be so distracting. Titus lolled his tongue at the praise and turned his head to lick at Dorian’s face with glee.

                A month and a week after their friendship had started; Dorian didn’t show up one day for his usual café mocha. The fact clearly worried Cullen and he did his clean up chores nervously. Titus could feel it and tried to keep close to him in attempt to calm the shaking Commander. Cullen kept going through his head about what could be wrong, maybe something happened to the Vint or maybe he had a presentation or something with his dissertation? Surely he would have told Cullen though! Dorian told him everything! Even the details that Cullen didn’t want to know like who fucked him the night before and how wonderful or awful it was. Dorian only did it to see the Commander blush, it was a game.

  “Dorian? If you get this, please call me back as soon as possible!” Cullen left his third message on the Vint’s cellphone and continued his pacing around. Titus tried to stop the man but Cullen ignored him. “What do I do? Do I wait here? Maybe he was simply held up? Maybe he went away for vacation?” he talked to himself and kept pacing. “Oh _Maker…_ ” Cullen felt himself start to go weak with his worry. Titus made him sit down on the chair to keep him from hurting himself. Routine was Cullen’s savior and Dorian had broken their routine, it was driving Cullen off the deep end and he didn’t know how to stop it. Titus was quick to try to help his master, cuddling in to him and all around rubbing himself over Cullen to try to pull the man from his thoughts. The Mabari was trained for situations like this and he prided himself in getting Cullen to hug him and finally just cry into his fur. Titus licked him all over and finally settled to allow Cullen to use him.

                Cullen locked up the shop and climbed onto his bike to start it up and get the kickstand up. Titus hopped up on the seat and the pair went home. Cullen spent the night wondering and hoping that Dorian was okay. He hadn’t heard from him at all through the night. Cullen laid awake through the night, Titus tried to get him to sleep but he was simply too worried for his friend. Dorian had taken to calling him ‘amicus’, whatever that meant, it seemed to suit Cullen, he felt.

                Cullen went to work at his usual time after walking Titus and eating breakfast. Titus came with him again because Cullen knew that he needed the support. The thoughts racing through his mind pained him, he feared the night that he’d turn back to his old enemy; alcohol. Cassandra noticed the worry in the man and during a downtime in their customers; she took him out back to find out what was wrong with him. He explained Dorian, about their friendship and how he came faithfully every day, it wasn’t always the same exact time but he would be there nonetheless.

  “But…yesterday…he didn’t show up and—and he didn’t answer my calls!” he was in panic mode.

  “Calm yourself Commander,” she ordered him. He swallowed his excess saliva and looked to her; she was firm in her beliefs and a steady comrade. He nodded and rubbed at his face. “Are you certain he had no other plans for yesterday?” she asked.

  “I’m positive!” he exclaimed, “He would have told me!” he started to pace around again.

  “Have you tried calling the police? Perhaps they could look for him if he is in danger,” she offered him.

  “I…I called this morning,” he told her shamefully.

  “Good, then the Tevinter will be found,” she patted his arm affectionately, “you just leave it to them, okay? You can make it through the day, I promise,” she tried to lift his spirits. He huffed but nodded to her, appreciative that she was trying to help. Titus was sitting behind her, whining to himself quietly. Cassandra went back inside to leave the two out there for now. Cullen knelt down to pull Titus into another hug.

  “We’ll find him buddy, I’m sure he’s just fine,” he whispered to his dog, Titus was feeling just as bad as Cullen was which made his job even harder. The dog wanted to whimper and whine at the fact that Dorian was missing but he had to be strong for his master, to keep him in check. Cullen pet him and kissed his cheek in a sign of thanks before he got up to help Cassandra; there was no way he could leave her alone.

                Cullen’s body shivered with his nerves working in overdrive. He waited with baited breath for his cellphone to ring back or Dorian to walk into his shop, unscathed. But neither ever happened. Cassandra stayed longer than usual to help Cullen take orders. She knew this mood well and didn’t want him to backtrack in the progress he’d made over the year and a half since he’d been home. Cullen went back into the kitchen to wash off the dishes that had accumulated.

  “Hey good lookin’,” a familiar voice interrupted him. Cullen snapped his head up to see Dorian sitting against the stone wall outside.

  “Dorian!” he exclaimed and ran for his friend. “Oh _Maker!_ Who did this to you?” Cullen growled as he looked over Dorian’s body. The man seemed relaxed but his temple was bleeding, his neck bore finger bruise marks on it and Maker knows what else was on his body. Dorian was slipping in and out of unconsciousness but he shook his head.

  “Not now Cullen…” he whispered, his energy becoming depleted.

  “Fuck Andraste! Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” Cullen cried out as he pulled Dorian into a hug and rocked them both. Dorian had never heard the Commander swear before so it was a shock but he agreed with him. “I was so worried!” Cullen wouldn’t let go of him as he continued to rock and hold him.

  “You care for me that much?” Dorian asked, he meant it as a joke but Cullen only held onto him tighter until he had to let go when something made Dorian groan loudly in pain.

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Cullen ghosted his hands everywhere over the mage to find out what was wrong. Dorian breathed shallow and quick as his left hand came up to cover his right wrist. “ _Maker!_ I didn’t break it! Did I?” Cullen asked, he could see how swollen the wrist looked. Dorian was wearing a hoodie with questionable stains on it but his sleeves were rolled up. He wore black skinny jeans and his favorite Converse shoes, Dorian would never been seen in public with this kind of attire so something dire happened to him.

  “No…” Dorian managed to get out between his shallow breaths. “They…they pushed me…I—I fell onto concrete…slammed hand down too hard and—and, oh…fuck this!” he writhed on the ground.

  “Shh, shh, it’s okay, we’ll get you to the hospital, okay?” Cullen soothed the dark hair back as he tried to calm him as well. Suddenly Titus burst out from the kitchen and ran up to Dorian to lick him everywhere that it didn’t hurt. Dorian was giggling but the pain was still there. Cullen pulled Titus back from his friend to help him up. “Titus, go get Cassandra,” Cullen commanded him. Titus barked and ran back inside to get her. Cassandra was fighting with the dog about coming outside until she saw the man that Cullen had managed to get up onto his feet. Dorian hung off Cullen like a doll; he could barely feel his legs after the abuse he’d taken. “I need to borrow your car!” he exclaimed.

  “This is Dorian?” she asked.

  “I’d…shake your hand, had mine not been…ugh…not been broken,” Dorian tried his humor but he was fading quickly from the pain.

  “I’ll drive, let me close the place. You two get in the back seat,” she handed Cullen the key to get in.

  “Alright, work with me here, I can’t carry you right now,” Cullen told the man as he started to walk around the rock wall to get to Cassandra’s car next to his bike. Dorian leaned heavily against Cullen and threatened to go completely unconscious. Titus opened the door after it was unlocked. Cullen didn’t know how he managed it but he was able to slide Dorian in, careful of his arm. His wrist seemed to be the only thing broken. Titus crawled in to lie on Dorian’s legs when the Vint gave permission. Cullen closed the door and went around to slide himself under Dorian’s upper body to hold him carefully. He was thankful for Cassandra who booted everyone out and wrote a sign that there was an emergency and the joint was closed for the day. She rushed out after everything was locked down and ran to her car with the boys in it. “To the hospital,” Cullen told her. Dorian was barely registering anything now, his head was cradled in Cullen’s arm and he would have made some sort of remark about it but all he could manage was a huff. Titus whined at him and kept his head near Dorian’s broken wrist to guard it from everything. Cullen’s worry didn’t stop now that they had found Dorian, if anything, his anxiety was given a boost with the fact that Dorian had passed out on him, still bleeding.

  “Sir, your dog cannot be in here,” one of the healer nurses warned Cullen after they’d brought Dorian inside and he was seen to right away.

  “He’s my service dog,” Cullen told her, she seemed satisfied and left them alone.

  “Come, let’s sit down, there is nothing left we can do,” Cassandra pulled him to the chairs to sit. Cullen did sit and Titus sat between his legs with his head resting on Cullen’s leg. “So that’s Dorian?” she asked.

  “Yeah…” Cullen nodded as he pet Titus.

  “He is a good friend to you, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how important he was previously,” she patted his arm.

  “I didn’t either,” Cullen shrugged, still looking down at his dog. Titus whined at him and pushed his head up further, trying to keep Cullen out of his dark thoughts. Cullen appreciated him and pet him in response. “What…do you suppose happened to him?” he asked, he knew Cassandra likely wouldn’t know but he asked anyway.

  “I do not know, it seemed as if his head had been bashed into something, possibly some furniture or…or a floor or concrete. Perhaps his captors were trying to…never mind,” she shook her head.

  “Trying to do what?” Cullen asked, so innocently. Cassandra looked at him; she knew he wouldn’t do well with the thought that Dorian had been mugged, likely stolen from, and possibly raped.

  “Don’t worry so much, I am sure he will be just fine,” she shook her head. Cullen’s body continued to shake at all the thoughts running through his mind. Eventually Titus had to take extreme measures; he sat up to get his paws up on Cullen’s stomach and press down gently as he kneaded the soft tissue in a massage-like manner. Cullen looked to him sorrowfully but pet him all the same. Titus leaned forward to lay on him and cuddle. Finally, after so long of this tortured waiting, a nurse came out to call for the people who brought Dorian Pavus in. Cullen was up in a flash, dumping his dog off his lap and racing towards the nurse. Cassandra followed him, trying to keep him in check as he shivered.

  “Follow me please,” she beckoned them along. Cullen followed and attempted to avoid stepping on her heels; she didn’t seem to be too friendly and didn’t want to get on her bad side. Cassandra kept him back as they followed her by holding the back of his shirt, Cullen didn’t even register it if he was honest with himself. The nurse stopped them outside of a room; Cullen kept trying to peek into the room to see if Dorian was okay. “He’s suffered a major concussion and a fracture to his radius close to his wrist joints. He has been raped but we’ve collected the samples and are on their way to being identified for at least one or two of his attackers,” she informed them.

  “Two?” Cullen asked, it was nearly a squeak as he looked to her.

  “Possibly more, it’s typical to find gang rape around here, especially…to a Tevinter,” she glanced to the door with a foul look.

  “Is…is that why he—? I mean…it’s not because he’s Tevinter, is it?” Cullen asked, looking between Cassandra and the woman.

  “I can’t say, all I can report are his injuries. He does have bruises and contusions about his body, be careful with him when he goes home. He’s also suffered some injuries to his muscles around the pelvis, many of them have been pulled or strained but no permanent damage has occurred. We recommend that he get plenty of rest when he gets home,” she nodded to him. “There are pamphlets at his bedside table that explain and locate a few rape crisis centers around the area that he could attend.”

  “Should he?” Cassandra asked.

  “It would be good for him. Rape victims are under a lot of pressure, many symptoms afterwards are mostly mental. He could start to become depressed, anxious, you may notice nausea and loss of appetite. He will probably blame himself and may have flash-backs to the attack. It would be wise to get him the mental help that he will need,” she nodded again.

  “Can we see him?” Cullen asked, his voice shook terribly in the knowledge that Dorian had been hurt so badly.

  “He may not wake for a few hours; he will be dizzy and will need help doing things that he could typical do by himself. I recommend he have adult supervision all day and night for the next week at least. The concussion could last a week or two still, each one is different,” she said before she opened the door. Cullen nearly plowed her over to get inside, Titus following at his heels.

  “Cullen!” Cassandra chastised him quietly. The nurse left them alone as Cullen went to Dorian’s bedside. The Tevinter’s head was wrapped in a white bandage that had been stained red on his left side where he had been bleeding previously. His arm was casted and Cullen could see another bandage on his shoulder near his clavicle, under the gown he wore. “ _Maker_ , he looks awful,” Cassandra spoke first.

  “You would too,” Cullen retorted before he sat on the bedside, careful not to sit on the Vint.

  “How old is he? He looks barely like he’s out of his teens!” she remarked.

  “He’s twenty four and working on his doctorate degree,” Cullen told her.

  “Doctorate? At his age?” she asked.

  “He’s a genius,” Cullen shrugged. The two stayed quiet for a moment longer as they looked down at the man sleeping. Cassandra as the next to speak up, asking her question.

  “Do you know if he lives with anyone else at home?” she asked.

  “He’s got a tiny apartment by himself. I can watch over him for the week at my place,” he offered her.

  “What about the shop?” she wondered. Cullen visibly slumped as he thought about it, he couldn’t possibly watch Dorian and run the shop. He knew Titus could watch Dorian but the dog didn’t have thumbs or a voice to call Cullen in case something was happening to him. “What if…I recruit a few friends of mine? That way, you can stay with him to watch him,” she suggested.

  “Who did you have in mind?” he looked to her.

  “Leliana for one, I believe she has another friend who could help us as well. I believe she used to be part of the Grey Wardens quite a few years ago,” she nodded.

  “But what about their own lives? I can’t ask them to stop what they’re doing and help me!” he shook his head.

  “You don’t have to, I will. Besides, if we recruit them for full time positions then we can all relax a little more and you can take a vacation that you’ve been in need of,” she smiled to him and patted his shoulder.

  “I don’t _need_ anything!” Cullen told her defiantly, scrunching his face up at the supposed accusation.

  “You could take it with Dorian,” she motioned to him. Cullen looked down at his friend before he scratched at the back of his neck to think about it.

  “Let’s just…we can use this week as a trial run? Okay?” he looked back to her. She smiled gently and nodded.

  “I’m going to go call Leliana, will you be okay for a few minutes?” she asked. Titus wagged his tail up at her, letting her know that he had it all under control.

  “Yeah, I’ll be here,” Cullen nodded. She gave a final squeeze and pat to his shoulder before she left out the door to give them some privacy. Titus went around and jumped up onto the bed to squeeze himself in between Dorian and Cullen, mostly he laid himself out on the Vint and gave a huff. Dorian groaned and turned his head the other way. Both Cullen and Titus perked up, hoping that the man would wake but he didn’t, he fell back into slumber. Cullen pet Titus as he waited for something else to happen.

  “Can’t believe I let this happen…” Cullen mumbled to himself. Titus looked up at him with a sour look and grumbled back at him. “I know…I just…I feel like I could have gone out to look for him yesterday…” he told the dog. Titus stood up to get into Cullen’s face, a little lick to his cheek. Cullen thought about how Dorian was likely held up in some house, not out on the streets. Though, he did say he’d fallen on concrete so he had to have been outside somewhere, or maybe it was a basement. Titus continued to stare at him before he rubbed his face into Cullen’s neck. “I know…I just…I just feel horrible, horrible that he had to go through this all because he’s a fucking Vint,” Cullen growled.

  “You’d be…fuckin’ a Vint too…if he looked…this good,” Dorian mumbled to him, awake.

  “Dorian!” Cullen exclaimed. He stood up to lurch and hug him around his neck, essentially burying the genius. “ _Maker!_ I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!” Cullen hugged him as Titus tried to pull him off the Vint.

  “Cullen! Cullen! Oomph, _Andraste’s tits_ , please get off?” Dorian tried to push him as well.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Cullen let go of his head but laid himself on the Vint to hug his chest instead. Titus eased up on his pulling but instead went around licking at Dorian’s face affectionately.

  “It’s…ugh, Titus, please,” Dorian tried to push him off as well. Titus did as he asked and went back to sit at the end of the bed. Cullen continued to lay on him over his casted arm; he sniffled and wiped his tears on the blanket over Dorian’s chest. “Um…Cullen? Are you…okay?” he asked, patting the shoulder closest to his left hand.

  “ _Maker_ , no! No, I’m not!” Cullen shook his head and didn’t move from his spot. Titus stayed away for the moment; he knew that Cullen and Dorian had to work this out for themselves.

  “Why?” Dorian asked him. Cullen stayed quiet for a moment; he wasn’t sure how to handle this. Dorian couldn’t understand why Cullen cared for him so much and in a platonic way, or at least, Cullen was sure it was platonic.

  “Because you’re my friend and you are hurt,” he responded, his eyes closed in his embarrassment. He didn’t want to pick up his head in fear that Dorian would judge his tears. “I…I can’t handle any more death but I know it’s going to be there regardless of if I want it or not. I’ve seen so much of it during my tours…so much betrayal and…too much…” he confessed. “I can’t handle knowing that…that you are so hurt,” he said.

  “Vos amici buni sunt,” Dorian breathed out. Cullen still didn’t know a lick of Tevene other than the swears that Dorian used. “Gratias ago por sollicitus,” he sighed and pushed his fingers through Cullen’s hair. Cullen closed his eyes at the touch, it calmed his overacting mind.

  “I…I’m a creature of habit—“

  “Really?” Dorian snorted.

  “When you didn’t show yesterday…oh _Maker_ , I couldn’t help but worry. You broke my routine and…and I tried to call you but…you never answered me,” he said, finally picking himself up off the Tevinter. He kept his eyes away from Dorian’s and just stared at his chest as he wiped his eyes of tears.

  “Paenitet me, amicus,” Dorian told him in Tevene. “I value our friendship but…I didn’t realize how much you care for me. I apologize if I seem…not so…caring? I don’t mean to be that way, I just…I—I don’t really know _how_ to do this,” he confessed.

  “I know,” Cullen nodded. “It’s not your fault that I’m like this,” he said, looking to Titus who came over to sit next to him again.

  “If…it’s not too bold, why are you like this?” Dorian asked him, “I’m afraid that…I don’t quite understand.”

  “It’s…a long story,” Cullen glanced to him; Dorian was looking at him with interest; the way he’d study his books about physics, trying to figure him out.

  “Well…it does seem as if we have the time,” Dorian tried to encourage him to speak about it.

  “I’d…rather not, not right now—“

  “So we have some good news,” Cassandra came back into the room. She stopped herself from speaking when she saw Dorian was awake and Cullen’s leftover tears. “Oh…I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” she asked.

 “No, no, not at all,” Cullen shook his head. “Dorian, this is Cassandra, Cassandra, this is Dorian,” he introduced the two of them as Cassandra came over to his bedside.

  “Charmed,” Dorian smiled to her.

  “Pleased to meet you, I’ve heard quite a bit about you,” Cassandra nodded back to him. The remark only made Cullen’s face heat up in embarrassment.

  “Is that so?” Dorian grinned, looking to Cullen who simply looked away to Titus to pet him.

  “Indeed,” she nodded and then looked to Cullen. “Leliana has agreed to help; she is bringing around a new friend of hers. The name is Josephine and I’ve been assured that she is trustworthy and has many connections that we could possibly use,” she explained to Cullen. Cullen nodded to her but didn’t say anything. “Dorian, has he explained that you will be at his house for the next week? The Commander will take care of you while you recover,” she looked back to the Vint.

  “Am I now?” Dorian asked, he could feel just how much Cullen cared about him. “Well, it looks like I have no say in the matter, so—“

  “You can stay at yours if you want, I just thought it’d be easier—“ Cullen started up, looking to Dorian finally when he realized that Dorian didn’t even want to stay with him.

  “Hush Commander,” Dorian cut him off, “I was just saying it in jest, I’d be happy to stay with you,” he reassured him. Cullen didn’t seem to be reassured though, Dorian was sure that it’d be an entire week of fretting from his mother hen; Cullen. “Did I have any belongings?” he asked, trying to look around.

  “Just your clothes,” Cassandra told him, Cullen stayed quiet again; he felt foolish.

  “Ah…I see,” Dorian said, disappointed. “They…must have taken my phone then,” he looked down to his casted wrist and hand and tried to twitch his fingers any. “There was no sign of…of a golden locket? Was there?” he asked, looking back to Cullen. Cullen shook his head. “ _Kaffas_ ,” Dorian murmured.

  “Does it mean much to you?” Cassandra asked.

  “It is my birthright, a pendant that signifies that I am upper class. Without it…anyone could challenge my right as an Altus or my family lineage,” he explained it. “It’s no bother though, I won’t be heading back to Tevinter any time soon,” he sighed deeply. Cullen kept his eyes on his dog, afraid to look at Dorian again but he did listen. Cullen swore that he’d get the pendant back for his friend; it was the least he could do.

                Once the nurses had their final look over, the doctor came in to tell Cullen what he had to do to help Dorian recover. Cullen had written down the things he needed to do to make sure he had it all down correctly. Cassandra stood by with a small smile, knowing something that Cullen couldn’t quite see just yet. The doctor released Dorian with his note for the week off from school and any work he may have. Cassandra helped to dress the man who was very sore and in pain, Cullen tied his shoes on at least but he wouldn’t look to Dorian’s naked form. Dorian teased him about, watching the Commander’s face go red with his embarrassment.

  “Alright, let’s get you two love birds home,” Cassandra smirked to them as she started up the car. Cullen insisted that Dorian lay against him at an incline to keep himself comfortable. Cullen hazarded a guess that Dorian’s backside was probably quite sore, especially the muscles in his pelvis which had nearly inhibited him from walking correctly. Dorian had grumbled at him but with some persuasion from Titus, he did lean back on the Commander to fall asleep on the hour ride to Cullen’s home. Cullen kept a hold around him, he was absentmindedly petting the skin exposed on Dorian’s left shoulder, it was soft and silky.


	6. Will You be Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen does his best to comfort his friend but finds that he's in way over his head.

                Dorian groaned when he was woken at home, he whined childishly and fretted about having to get out of Cullen’s warm hold. Cullen simply helped him out into standing while keeping his arm around him tightly. Unfortunately, he ended up hitting one of Dorian’s many bruises which left the Tevinter yelping in pain. Cullen apologized profusely as Titus followed them out; closing the door to the car and leading them along with Cassandra in front. Dorian was barely conscious as they walked him in gently; thankfully there were very little stairs that he had to go up. Cullen debated on just picking him up but Dorian made it up with his help. They sat him down on the couch and then helped him to lie down once again, Dorian winced at his hip when the muscle tensed up, he put his left hand down to massaged out the sore muscles.

  “Will you need anything?” Cassandra asked Cullen when Dorian was situated for now.

  “No, I don’t think so, it’s just a matter of waiting now,” Cullen told her. “Thank you, for coming along,” he said.

  “Well, I couldn’t let you drive him on your bike,” she chuckled.

  “Oh! I forgot about that!” he exclaimed.

  “Would you like to fetch it?” she asked, he looked over to Dorian who was still rubbing out his muscles. “Dorian will be fine for an hour,” she tried to persuade him to leave. Titus looked up to his master before he went over to Dorian to sit next to him.

  “Go on, go fetch your motorcycle,” Dorian told him quietly, groaning still in pain.

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “You don’t need anything before we leave? The bathroom or—or some water, or food?”

  “I’ll be fine Cullen, please,” Dorian tried to smile and shoo him away.

                Cullen nodded to him, he didn’t mean to be so clingy but he felt as if Dorian was the only real friend he had, he wasn’t about to let that go lightly. Cassandra drove him back to the restaurant to get his bike, he knew that she was one of his very best friends but there was something special about Dorian that Cassandra just didn’t have.

  “Try not to worry over him so much tonight, okay?” she asked him when they arrived.

  “I’ll try,” he nodded to her and sighed.

  “Go on, get back to him,” she smirked and pushed him out. Cullen did as he was told and drove back to his house. He parked his bike in his garage and turned it off. He sat there for a moment thinking over the day, was it possible but he enjoyed Dorian so much because he did like him? Cullen shook his head; it wasn’t possible that he could be gay. Maybe it was just Dorian? Maybe he wasn’t really attracted to all men but just Dorian? But the man was only twenty four! Cullen quickly divided his age in half and then added seven, it added to twenty three; he was in the clear age-wise at least. His head ached with all the possibilities now; he took in a deep breath to try to calm himself before entering into his house. Titus quickly dragged Cullen over to the living room where Dorian was still laying down.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Cullen asked both Titus and his friend, Dorian seemed to be okay.

  “Oh…uh, you’re here,” Dorian looked to him.

  “Is there something wrong?” Cullen asked him, frowning with his confusion.

  “Um…I need to use the bathroom,” Dorian told him, “I’m going to piss my pants if I don’t get there like…now,” he warned.

  “Oh! Okay!” Cullen was quick to get to work. Titus stayed out of their way as Cullen lifted the man up gently to sit first and then up to standing. Dorian groaned when he was standing and leaned heavily against Cullen again, relying on the man to hold him up. “Come on, let’s walk,” Cullen urged him on.

  “I can’t fucking move,” Dorian whimpered, embarrassed. “Fuck me…” he groaned. “I…I don’t think I can hold it—“

  “I’ve got you!” Cullen quickly swooped down to pick the man up bridal style to bring him to the bathroom. Cullen blushed as he set the man down and quickly pushed down his pants to reveal he had no underwear on. He quickly helped him into sitting where Dorian tucked himself into the toilet to finally relieve himself with a contented sigh. “Um…do you want me to leave?” Cullen asked him, at Dorian’s side as the man started to take a shit, the Commander was not cut out for this job.

  “I’m sorry Cullen…I…I couldn’t hold out any longer but…oh _Maker_ …I’m not sure if I can stay upright if you leave…” Dorian was leaning against him as he continued to empty himself. Titus appeared at the doorway with his head tilted. “My head feels like I’m about to explode!” he exclaimed and grunted when he had to push hard to get the feces to slide out, the force made his brain ache even more. “ _Fasta Vass!_ ” Dorian swore. Cullen did his best to stand rigidly for his friend, he was extremely embarrassed. “I…I’ve never been picked up by someone before…” Dorian noted, trying to draw Cullen’s attention away from the fact that he was peeing now.

  “It’s a skill I had to learn when I was with the Templar’s,” Cullen told him.

  “I have to admit that…that it did turn me on a little,” Dorian chuckled.

  “You liked to be picked up?”

  “Well…not so much the act but who does it,” Dorian smiled at him.

  “Uh…I hope you don’t expect me to wipe your ass,” Cullen winced.

  “Not at all, just…hold me up?” Dorian asked. “I’m feeling a little better now that that is over, no more pressure,” he admitted.

  “Good,” Cullen nodded as he did indeed hold Dorian up as the man figured out how to use his left hand and wipe himself. Finally, Cullen flushed the toilet and moved over to wash their hands, he insisted the he help Dorian wash his one hand with his own two. Titus watched as Cullen walked Dorian back to the couch to sit.

  “I prefer not to lie down, it makes my head want to explode with the pressure,” Dorian told him. “So…where will I sleep tonight?” he asked.

  “I have a spare room across from mine that is made up, you can sleep there for the week,” Cullen nodded to him. “Did you need anything? Something to drink or…something?” he asked. Dorian smiled at him but shook his head.

  “You just go about your daily business, I’m perfectly comfortable here,” Dorian nodded to him. Cullen looked to the clock, it was nearly six in the evening already. Normally he would be working out at this point but he didn’t want to do that in front of Dorian, he was much too self-conscious for that just yet.

  “I suppose I can make some dinner then,” Cullen scratched at his hair and looked to his kitchen. Dorian watched him contently as he walked over to the kitchen and started to rummage through a bunch of his cabinets and the fridge. It was strange to Dorian, Cullen had cooked for him before but it always left him feeling good about everything, it wasn’t a feeling that he was used to experiencing just yet. He smiled and relaxed his body, he let his head loll back against the couch gently as Titus came up on the couch to lie with him and lick his good hand. Dorian chuckled at him but continued to watch Cullen as he started to make their dinner. Dorian felt like he could simply sit there and watch Cullen all day and night long.

Dorian did indeed watch the man as he cooked, cooking seemed to put Cullen at ease a little more and he hummed to himself while he worked. Dorian couldn’t see exactly what he was making but it started to smell delicious to the Vint. Titus kept checking up on the man, sniffing him and begging for pets to make sure he was still okay. Dorian looked down to him with a smile and pat him gently.

  “Gratias ago, amicus,” Dorian whispered to him. Titus tilted his head; he didn’t understand the words that were spoken to him. Dorian grinned wider and just pet him.

  “Are you hungry Dorian?” Cullen asked him some time later when he was finished making their dinner. He looked over to see that Dorian had passed out again, leaning against the arm of the couch with Titus still on him. “Oh,” Cullen said quietly as he started to smile. Cullen went down to the guest bedroom to turn back the covers on the bed to ready it for Dorian. He fluffed up the pillows and made sure that everything was just right before he went back out to get Titus off of him. “Come on pup, let’s bring him to bed,” he said as he picked up the man with a little difficulty. Dorian sighed in his sleep but didn’t wake. Cullen breathed out with the force of carrying the man to the bedroom; he then gently set the Tevinter down on the bed and laid him down.

  “Hm…” Cullen mused, he knew that sleeping in normal clothes wasn’t always very comfortable and so he went back into his room to grab some sweatpants and a shirt for the sleeping Vint. He unlaced the shoes when he was back and took off his socks. Cullen grimaced; Dorian was in need of a shower for sure. He continued to pull down the zipper and unbutton his pants to pull them down. Dorian seemed to be waking but only grumbled and turned his head to the left side. Cullen continued to pull down his pants and then he switched and pulled up his sweatpants on the Vint. Dorian sighed in his sleep again; it seemed to be fairly content. Cullen gently eased his thick shirt off and then the undershirt, Dorian was apparently too tired to wake from his slumber at the tussling. Cullen looked down at the man’s chest, it was littered with bruises, and his neck still bore finger marks where he’d been choked. There was a particularly bad bruise on Dorian’s side, near where he’d guess the kidney would be, it was a deep shade of purple and black and looked like it hurt. Dorian’s chest was free of hair but he did have a small happy trail that led into his pants.

  “Do you like the way I look?” Dorian asked him. Cullen yelped and went to back away but he tripped himself and fell straight onto his back with a groan when his head hit the floor. Dorian was laughing at him! Well, it wasn’t a rude laugh but it was laughter all the same. “I’m sorry amicus!” he exclaimed as he sat up on his right elbow, mindful of his cast. “Are you okay?” he asked as Cullen writhed on the ground.

  “No…” Cullen groaned before he rolled to his side to get off the floor, he was angry and his head hurt. He rubbed at the back of his head and grumbled about it.

  “I’m sorry amicus, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Dorian grinned at him, still sleepy.

  “Like hell you didn’t,” Cullen retorted.

  “Well, I couldn’t let you stare at me like you hungered for my body!” Dorian chuckled as he laid back down.

  “I was just looking at the bruises,” Cullen told him, trying to get him to sit up so he could put the shirt on him.

  “There are no bruises on my pants, amicus,” Dorian grinned as he obeyed and sat up for him. “All the same, thank you for the clothes, they’re nice and warm,” he helped and put his arms out so Cullen could get the shirt on. Cullen was careful of the bandage on his head but slipped it on and then down before he let Dorian lean down into lying once more.

  “You’re welcome,” Cullen told him, still angry for being spooked. Titus had come in to see what all the fuss was about; he nudged Cullen who patted him first. Titus jumped up onto the bed to curl around Dorian’s left side and huff at the two of them.

  “How long will you be mad at me?” Dorian asked him with a grin as he cradled Titus between his left arm and his body, the dog was careful about his wounds.

  “As long as I want to be,” Cullen grumbled at him before leaving.

  “Wait! Come back!” Dorian exclaimed. Cullen looked at him from the doorway, still angry.

  “What?”

  “You didn’t read me a bedtime story Commander!” he giggled.

  “ _Andraste’s balls,_ fuck off Vint!” Cullen growled at him before he turned on heel to leave back to the kitchen to eat his dinner. Titus looked up to the doorway, conflicted if he should stay with Dorian or follow his master.

  “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine, it’s a healthy anger,” Dorian patted the dog. Titus huffed and laid his head gently on Dorian’s chest to stay with him through the night. Dorian soon found slumber again.


	7. Will You be Okay (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen bakes at four in the morning and learns a little Tevene from Dorian later. Dorian opens up about what the Qunari did to him.

                Something stirred Dorian awake in the middle of the night; something moving and grumbling loudly. Titus woke him up by licking his face; Dorian groaned at him and told him to go away. Titus whined and Dorian heard Cullen yell out in fright. Dorian got up onto his elbow to listen as Titus ran over to his master’s room. He heard Cullen talking softly to his dog before he cried out and started to sob. What had happened to the man to cause him such pain? Dorian knew of his tours in fighting the war and such but what had happened to him that left him a sniveling mess? Dorian listened to him for a while longer, he wanted to comfort his friend but he wasn’t sure if Cullen would be alright with that or not; he decided that it’d be best if he didn’t interfere with it and simply let Cullen weep into his dog.

                Dorian woke in the morning, completely and utterly sore. If he thought he had been sore yesterday then he was surely paralyzed this morning. He groaned as he tried to stretch out his body, the muscles around his hips contracted with the stretch and he had to hold in his scream. He was sweating as he released the muscles little by little and massaged them out straight again. The effort made him fall back into slumber for a few minutes.

  “Dorian?” Cullen woke him gently, the man still seemed quite sad as he leaned over the Vint.

  “Hm?” Dorian asked him, letting him know that he was awake now.

  “Titus and I are going out for a walk, do you need anything before we go?” he asked.

  “Food…” Dorian grumbled, his stomach had been yelling at him the past hour to feed it.

  “Do you like muffins? I um…I made some this morning,” Cullen offered, he seemed shy about it.

  “This morning?” Dorian asked.

  “Well um…actually…it was more like four in the morning but uh, yeah,” Cullen nodded to him.

  “Is that after you had your nightmare?” he asked, trying to sit upon his own. Cullen seemed shy at the mention of it.

  “Oh…you heard that?” he asked as he helped Dorian into sitting.

  “Who couldn’t hear it?” Dorian chuckled at it but when he looked to Cullen, it didn’t seem to help him out a bit. “Did you…want to talk about it?” he offered.

  “No,” Cullen shook his head, it wasn’t hasty but it was definitely a solid answer. Dorian nodded to him and didn’t press it any further. He did however pull Cullen into a warm and friendly hug when he was standing, part of it was to keep his balance but he wanted to comfort his friend as well.

  “I realized that I didn’t properly thank you—at least, not in your own language,” he smiled. Cullen had his arms around him but it was a very light hold, afraid to break the Vint. Cullen huffed at him but he eventually melted in the hold; needing the reassurance. Dorian held steadfast, he wanted Cullen to relax and this seemed to be helping him. Cullen could only ignore the grumbling sounds coming from Dorian’s stomach so long, he eventually pulled away to look at the stomach that was producing the loud angry sounds. “Uh…I might be a little hungry,” Dorian chuckled at him.

  “Good, “Cullen nodded to him and looked at him with a weary smile; it was evident that he’d been up for longer than he was accustomed.

  “Good?” Dorian asked him, his eyebrow raised.

  “You can eat all the stuff I made this morning,” Cullen chuckled at him. “I um…I bake when I can’t sleep…it keeps me occupied,” he looked sheepish again, glancing to the doorway.

  “How much did you bake exactly?” Dorian asked him, breaking away from the hold to walk on his own; now that he was stretched out, it wasn’t so painful. Cullen stuck close to him in case he would start to fall so he could catch the Vint.

  “Um…it might last you a few days or…all week?” he answered.

  “All week?!” Dorian shot a wide eyed look to him as they walked slowly down the hall. There was the hand again, rubbing at the back of Cullen’s neck; the thing he did when he was nervous or admitting something.

  “I said it _might_ …it depends on how much you can eat honestly,” he shrugged after and smiled.

  “You are…a very strange man Mr. Rutherford,” Dorian chuckled at him.

  “Well, what do you do when you can’t sleep?” Cullen asked.

  “I read, like a normal person,” Dorian grinned; he had to stop when he saw that the island counter and the counter against the wall were filled with goodies of all kinds. “Cullen…you said…all week?” he asked as he leaned against the wall to stare at the food.

  “What, is it not enough? I can fix that! I mean, if you—“ Dorian quieted him with a look.

  “This would last me all month!” he exclaimed. Cullen’s face went beat red, that sheepish look crept up on him again as he glanced around everywhere but Dorian.

  “Oh…well…yeah…maybe,” Cullen mumbled. “Do you um…need to use the bathroom or anything?” he motioned over to it.

  “Food first, I’m sure I can wolf down a couple of these muffins and cookies first!” Dorian grinned to him before he pushed onward towards the open kitchen. Cullen followed him closely to ensure that he didn’t fall over once again. Titus looked up to the two and wagged his little tail; he’d been chewing on an antler happily. “Good morning Titus,” Dorian smiled at him, the dog was quick to stand up to move to Dorian to receive his pets. Dorian held onto the counter as he tried to bend to pet the dog. Titus barked at him which sent Dorian into standing straight up again; it had scared him for the moment. Titus then stood up to get his paws on the counter top so Dorian could pet him without falling over. Cullen smiled at his dog; he was such a smart pup. “Gratias, amicus,” Dorian smiled at the pup and leaned to kiss his temple. Titus’s tongue lolled out happily and he moved over to try to lick the Vint back. Cullen watched, happy as his pup and his friend interacted with each other.

  “He’s such a good dog,” Dorian smiled at him.

  “And to think, you thought Mabari’s were all awful!” Cullen exclaimed to him.

  “Well, I still do, but this one is alright,” Dorian grinned as he held onto Titus in a hug. Titus agreed verbally by barking and howling happily which made the two boys laugh at him.

  “So, what does amicus mean?” Cullen asked him.

  “Friend,” Dorian answered as he continued to ruffle Titus’s fur and kiss him affectionately.

  “And gratias?”

  “Thanks, gratias ago is thank you,” he replied. Cullen started to peel the wrapping off one of the blueberry muffins to give to Dorian who’s stomach was still growling.

  “Tevene is a beautiful but strange language,” Cullen noted.

  “How is it strange? I rather think it’s straight to the point. You Ferelden’s and your common tongue makes everything so confusing,” Dorian looked to him and took the offered muffin. “You always skirt around things instead of saying how they truly are,” he bit into the muffin and nearly melted in joy with the flavorful blast of taste.

  “I think that’s more of a personal issue than a language barrier,” Cullen said. He’d eaten enough batter and taste tested some of the muffins earlier so he wasn’t as hungry.

  “I suppose,” Dorian shrugged. “Do you…eh, do you have any coffee?” he looked around. Cullen had already been on it while Dorian was melting into his muffin; Cullen presented the black cup with a smile. “You know me well, amicus,” Dorian grinned and took the cup but he didn’t actually grab it. Cullen watched as the cup fell and shattered on the hardwood floor. Dorian watched the same thing happen but he couldn’t react to it, not right away. He looked back to Cullen with confusion written all over his face. “I…I’m sorry…I thought I had it…” he looked down at the broken mug and splashed black coffee.

  “It’s okay, the doctor said you might have some motor control issues and stuff like that,” Cullen shrugged to him. “Let’s go sit you down and I’ll bring you a fresh cup, okay?” Cullen stepped around the mess to pull Dorian away from the counter, the Vint looked shocked at the mess on the floor, still very confused. “Hey, it’s okay you know, one broken cup isn’t the end of the world,” he said when he sat the man on his sofa.

  “But I had it…I swear I did!” Dorian looked up at him; he was hurt from his mistake. Titus had already grabbed a dish towel off the lower cabinet and brought it over to the spill to lay it down, having seen Cullen do the same before.

  “Dorian, you suffered a fairly severe brain injury, okay? Things like this are going to happen, it’s not your fault,” Cullen sat down next to him, clear that Dorian needed the support. Dorian sat there and stared into space, Cullen could see how upset he was over it. “Would you like another cup? I can help you if you want,” he offered. Dorian shook his head, tears starting to well in his eyes. “Would you…like another muffin maybe?” Dorian shook his head again. Titus, done soaking in the black coffee, came over to Dorian to quickly crawl into his lap and let himself be hugged and held tightly as Dorian cried into him.

  “I’m sorry Cullen,” Dorian said, muffled by Titus’s fur.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong Dorian, it’s okay,” he patted the thigh next to him. “You just stay here with Titus, okay?” he told him before he got up to clean up the mess. He had to grab another towel to finish drying his hardwood floors and then swept up the broken mug pieces to throw away. He prepared another cup of coffee and grabbed another muffin to set at the side table next to Dorian. He knew the man wouldn’t take it right away but it was there, just in case. Dorian was still quietly apologizing. Cullen was starting to wonder if this was more than the concussion, maybe something happened to him when he was a kid and it just triggered him. Cullen wasn’t sure what to do now, he remembered how he felt when he was a full blown alcoholic and knew that Dorian felt just as bad as he did before. It was for completely unrelated issues, but it was the same type of feeling. It made Cullen sad just to think about it. Titus looked up to him and whined, wanting to comfort the both of them.

  “Hey…do you want to talk about it?” Cullen sat down; he was good at the listening part, just not the emotional side of things.

  “What is there to talk about?” Dorian asked, still with his face pressed into Titus’s fur. “I broke it, it’s all my fault!” he sobbed. “All my fault…I…I shouldn’t have let him in…I thought that—that it’d be okay, you know?” he started to talk anyway, it was about the rape which made Cullen uncomfortable but he listened to try and help Dorian. “It was a Qunari and…and I’ve never had a problem before! But he…he insisted…I said no but he wouldn’t stop!” he exclaimed, sitting up to look to Cullen with reddened eyes. Cullen was just as sorrowful as he listened; none of his friends had gone through this before. “And then more showed up and I tried to run,” he wiped at his face but it didn’t help too much, more tears kept flowing from them. “They took me out back and—and…and…” he hiccupped with his tears and looked away from Cullen as he hugged Titus. “It’s my fault…if, if I just hadn’t told them…maybe they wouldn’t have ever known what I was…what I am,” he looked down at his hand gripping Titus’s fur, he was shaking horribly.

  “Because you are Tevinter?” Cullen asked him quietly. Dorian nodded. “I am so sorry Dorian, if…if I ever find out who they are…” he said lowly, nearly growling.

  “Amatus! They are Qunari! You couldn’t possibly—“

  “You don’t know me Dorian,” Cullen shot back at him; he wondered what this new Tevene word meant. “You don’t know what I’m capable of, especially if my friends are hurt,” he warned, Dorian could see the anger reflected in his eyes. Dorian gently let go of Titus to let him down before he pushed himself to straddle Cullen. “What’re you doing?” he asked.

  “Just hold me, please,” Dorian asked him as he put his left arm around Cullen to hug him. Cullen’s heartrate elevated but he held onto the Tevinter, loosely at first but he gained his confidence and when Dorian didn’t seem to mind, he held him a little tighter in his hug. Dorian melted against him; exhausted as he continued to cry, quieter now. “ _Maker_ …Cullen…they…they made me…I orgasmed when they raped me…my body…my body _liked_ it!” he practically squeaked.

  “You didn’t enjoy it Dorian, don’t you dare tell yourself that!” Cullen growled back at him. “There are plenty of things that can make that happen and not all of it is pleasurable! That’s the thing about rape, you know? The man or woman wants that to happen because they think it does mean you enjoy it, it gratifies them. Don’t you dare think that you ever enjoyed it because you didn’t! They hurt you and just because your body reacted differently that you thought it would, doesn’t mean anything, alright?” Cullen told him forcefully.

  “Then why does it seem like I did enjoy it so much?” Dorian cried on him. Cullen was not qualified to answer that question, he knew that. Cullen began to pet his black hair; it was springing every which way and a little greasy now.

  “I don’t know Dorian, I really don’t know. I wish I had the answers for you,” he shook his head. “All I know is that they broke you and I want to break them because of it. You don’t deserve to be hurt like this, you did nothing wrong. I know that I didn’t have a great look on Tevinter but _Maker_ , I’d never hurt someone just because they—unless of course, they hurt me first. But I don’t understand why we do things like this. Just because you are different and you come from another area doesn’t mean you are inherently a bad person or a person who should be punished…” he rambled on, still petting Dorian’s hair; it seemed to help soothe the man as his sniffles were dwindling. “The world is awful and it sucks, I should know,” Cullen stopped himself and leaned his forehead on Dorian’s shoulder.

  “What happened to you?” Dorian asked, it was so small and innocent of a question. Cullen shuttered when he remembered his dream from only a few hours ago, okay, it was a nightmare but it was still memories of old.

  “You know of the Hero of Ferelden…yes?” he asked, Dorian nodded. “She…well, I was in the Templar unit that was assigned to her circle. She had grown up there like most other people like her; taken to become assassins and soldiers for the circle’s benefit. She had just finished her Harrowing and _Maker_ , I had the hardest crush on her.”

  “That’s not all that was hard…” Dorian whispered in jest.

  “Shush you,” Cullen told him before he continued; he could feel Dorian’s smile on his shoulder. “She um…well, she did notice me one day, even talked to me but I was too young to realize that I was being a fool. I stuttered terribly that day and her friend made fun of me for it, I couldn’t help that she was such an attractive young woman! She fancied my armor—“ Dorian snorted at that, insinuating that it wasn’t just the armor she was after. “—but I never asked her to go with me. Instead, she left the circle in her only chance of leaving, she joined the Grey Wardens. I…I was left behind at the circle when the abominations attacked…oh _Maker_ , I had never fought so hard in my life…at least, at the time, it’s what I believed. I watched,” Cullen took a breath in to steady himself, the tears were already welling, “I watched my brothers die…they took them…one by one,” his body shook with the memories. Dorian held him tighter, still not moving from his shoulder but only held tighter. Cullen breathed hard with the memories, Titus jumped back onto the couch to lay his head on Dorian and Cullen’s legs between them.

  “I…I’m sorry Dorian, I don’t think I can finish it,” he shook his head and held the man close to him.

  “S’okay,” Dorian slurred, still pressed tightly against Cullen. “I’m sorry they hurt you too,” he added quietly. That was the last drop that caused the dam to break and Cullen’s eyes flooded with tears, he buried his own head on Dorian’s right shoulder to cry. The pair stayed like this for a while, Cullen’s eyes were the last to dry up but they still held onto each other for dear life. Dorian was the first to grumble that he had to use the bathroom now but he didn’t want to detach from his friend.

  “Do you still need help do you think?” Cullen asked him as he wiped the tears off his face, looking away from Dorian’s shoulder in their hold. Dorian chuckled at him and the offer.

  “No, I’ll be okay. I’m much less dizzy now. I may need help getting up from this position but…I should be okay. I’ll yell if I need you,” he patted Cullen’s bouncy blonde hair. “I uh…I would like to take a shower, or maybe a bath—yes, bath would be better, less standing,” he nodded.

  “Okay, I can do that,” Cullen nodded. He sighed as he continued to rest his head against his friend; it was a few more moments before Dorian spoke up.

  “Are we…getting up?” he asked.

  “No…” Cullen groaned and rubbed his head onto his shoulder like a cat and huffed like Titus would do. He could feel Dorian’s chuckle at the motion.

  “You are adorable amatus and whoever tells you otherwise is lying,” he gently pressed a kiss to Cullen’s neck, it made the man shiver again.

  “I can be adorable sometimes,” Cullen told him defiantly.

  “Yes, well, now is not the most opportune time. If you don’t get us up, I might just piss here on your lap,” he warned, trying to get Cullen moving.

  “You would?” Cullen asked, almost breathless.

  “Do I detect a little fetish of yours?” Dorian chuckled as he picked up his head at least and tried to pull from the Commander.

  “What? No! Not at all! I was just surprised that you’d say that or…do that, uh,” Cullen blushed hard and looked around nervously.

  “Oh look at you, all red in the cheeks still,” Dorian grinned and leaned forward to press a kiss to those wonderfully red cheeks.

  “Dorian! What did I tell you!” Cullen growled at him and pulled away from the kiss.

  “I can’t help it, you make me want to love you,” Dorian smiled at him. “Come on, up!” he patted Cullen’s shoulders to try to get him to move. Cullen growled but did eventually maneuver them into standing once Dorian was off his lap, he helped him up. Cullen kept a hand on him as Dorian wobbled slightly, Titus watched them carefully. Cullen eventually let go when Dorian assured him that he’d be just fine.  Dorian disappeared down the hall and Cullen looked down to Titus who was giving him a strange look.

  “What are you looking at?” he asked with his arms folded. Titus panted and woofed at him as he smiled. “Quiet you, I definitely don’t!” Cullen responded, he could tell that his dog was accusing him of liking Dorian too much. Cullen had never fallen for a man before, he didn’t know what to do with this information but he definitely did like Dorian more and more. It wasn’t just the fact that he was a gorgeous man but the fact that he cared about Cullen the same way Cullen cared for him, even if the Tevinter didn’t think so himself. Cullen knew that Dorian just simply couldn’t recognize how much he cared because he’d never been told that he cared before, so why would he know and recognize it? Cullen started to pace around, waiting for Dorian to finish or yell that he needed help.

                Titus interrupted Cullen’s thoughts with a paw at his hip; Cullen looked down to his dog with the question. He suddenly noticed the bulge in his pants, his face heated in the thought that Dorian sitting on him had caused this.

  “Oh…” he realized just how hard he was in fact. Titus was worried for him but Cullen just smiled down at him and patted his head. “You stay here bud and wait for Dorian. I’ll be in my room for a couple minutes, okay? Don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine,” he told his dog. Titus climbed back onto the couch to wait for him. Cullen rushed down to his room, closed the door behind him and locked it for safe measure. He’d never touched himself when he had other people in his house before, it was exhilarating and nerve wracking. He went over to his bedside table when he heard the bath start up and knew Dorian would be okay for a little while at least. Cullen dug the heel of his hand into his pants to stave off his orgasm which was very close at hand.

                Cullen sighed in relief when his pants were down and he was touching himself with a lubed hand. He pumped hard and fast as he thought about Dorian and the man’s perfect body. If Tevinter did anything right, it was creating Dorian. Cullen silently thanked Andraste for leading the Tevinter to Skyhold University. Cullen arched his back as he orgasmed mostly silently, scared that Dorian was listening outside his room even though it was unlikely. He’d pulled his shirt up just in time to splash onto his stomach. He bit his lip and turned his head to the side as he let out a breath and continued to tug on himself to milk out the rest of his cum. He closed his eyes and sighed in relief as he gently pet himself and went down to give his balls a gently squeeze and a massage. After being up so long and all the emotions he’d gone through in the past hour, he was primed for sleep. Instead, he cleaned himself off with tissues and dressed himself fully before making sure his bedspread was wrinkle free. He looked around to be sure everything was in order, including himself before he unlocked his door. He grabbed a pair of jeans, underwear, socks, and a long sleeved blue shirt for Dorian to wear since he didn’t have any of his usual clothes. He knocked on the door to the bathroom.

  “Are you decent?” Cullen asked.

  “Depends on your definition,” Dorian giggled back to him, Cullen rolled his eyes.

  “Ha, very funny. Just cover yourself for a moment okay? I’ve got some clothes for you to wear in the meantime. We can go to yours later if you like to gather some items,” Cullen said and opened the door to deposit the clothing on sink counter for him.

  “Thank you,” Dorian nodded to him even though Cullen didn’t look at him. Cullen kept the door open slightly so they could talk. “I’d…I’d rather not go back for a little while…is that okay?” he asked.

  “That’s okay with me; you just let me know if you need anything,” Cullen nodded.

  “I will,” Dorian smiled, “gratias ago, amatus,” he said quietly, dragging out the _s_ in the word. Cullen shivered at the Tevene words; he figured he’d never get used to them.

  “You’re welcome,” Cullen replied to him and shut the door. Dorian bit his lip at the thought of one day being boned by that wonderful man. He continued on his endeavor, he had been cleaning himself but ended up with an erection as he thought about Cullen and how wonderful he was, how beautiful, and how much he cared. It both pained and made Dorian feel absolutely loved to know that Cullen cared more about him than any other person in his life had ever. With one last stroke, he orgasmed in the bath, the sheer force almost knocked him out but he prevailed and only let his head loll forward as he panted. His tan skin above the water was now striped with his own cum, he one day hoped that it would be Cullen’s on him. He moaned quietly in case Cullen was outside still before he started to clean himself again.

                Cullen hummed to himself, feeling much more relieved now that he’d taken care of himself. He looked to the time, it was nearing noon and he felt far too jittery for his own good. He realized that he had never taken Titus out for a walk yet, he turned to see if he wanted to go but he found his dog to be sleeping. He smiled at the Mabari curled on the couch; all these emotions flying around and trying to help had tuckered him out. He smiled warmly but shifted his gaze to the bathroom door when it opened and Dorian stepped out wearing his clothing, still pulling the shirt down over himself so Cullen was able to get an eyeful of his chest in before it was covered.

  “I know I’m not generally one for this kind of fashion but, I do have to admit, it is quite comfortable,” Dorian looked to Cullen with his grin, Cullen was still smiling. “What’re you smiling about?” he asked.

  “Titus,” Cullen said quietly and pointed to the dog as Dorian came next to him.

  “Aw, did we tire the good boy out?” Dorian asked, baby talking the dog.

  “Well, he did get up at the ass-crack of dawn with me to help me so I’d say he deserves it,” Cullen nodded. “Did you want any more food?” he asked, looking at the plethora of muffins and cookies and banana bread he’d bagged.

  “Thank you, no,” Dorian shook his head. He’d taken the full bandage off his head but left the tapped gauze over his wound. His hair was all spiked due to the quick rinse. “In fact, I think Titus has the right idea,” he looked back to the dog.

  “Sleeping?” Cullen asked.

  “Indeed, you look exhausted yourself,” he noted.

  “I’ll be okay,” Cullen shrugged as he started to put some of the muffins away in the corner, stacking them to take up less room.

  “Come on amatus, let’s take a nap. You deserve it too,” Dorian tried to get him to follow.

  “Really Dorian, I’ll be okay,” the Commander shook his head. Dorian went around to try and persuade him.

  “Come on, let’s go,” he quickly smacked Cullen’s ass cheek to shove him along.

  “Dorian!” Cullen shrieked and jumped away from him. It woke Titus up but when the dog saw that it was just the two of them, he went back to sleep.

  “Come on, go, go,” Dorian grinned to him and shooed him along towards the bedroom, grabbing his ass when Cullen tried to refuse. Cullen would swat the hand away and look at him angrily but Dorian won, he had successfully cornered Cullen in his room and pulled back the covers to get him into the queen sized bed. “Good, now cover yourself up and sleep!” Dorian pulled the covers back over him to tuck him in. Cullen sighed but he had to crack a smile. “Hm, you’re enjoying this too much,” Dorian mused, grinning when Cullen’s smile widened.

  “Well…it has been a while since someone actually tucked me into bed,” he admitted.

  “Mind if I sleep with you?” Dorian asked, already going around the bed to crawl in. Cullen sat up to try to stop him. “Oh hush, we’re just going to nap okay? I’m not going to do anything, I’ll stay on my side,” he rolled his eyes as Cullen’s protest.

  “As long as you stay over there,” Cullen said to him and laid himself back down slowly.

  “Yes, yes,” Dorian said as he laid on his right side, away from his head wound to stay comfortable. “Noctis,” Dorian sighed to him and fell into a slumber. Cullen, after he relaxed a little more, also fell into a deep slumber, snoring lightly in his sleep.

                Dorian woke before Cullen did, he was much warmer than he had been before and attributed it to the long sleeve shirt that he wore. He realized that something was completely enveloping him and wondered if Titus had wandered into the room to sleep with him. He only realized who it was when the arms around him tightened for a moment and Cullen breathed out in his sleep. Dorian grinned to himself, Cullen was spooning him in his sleep. He opened his eyes and sure enough, Dorian hadn’t moved an inch but Cullen had scooted across the bed to hold onto him, bringing the blanket with him to create a fluffy pile atop of them. Dorian settled down, a smile stretched across his face and tried to sleep a little longer. He did achieve more sleep until a couple minutes later when Cullen awoke. Cullen mumbled something but moved away from Dorian. Dorian wanted to whine and grab him to keep him there but he knew not to push his luck. He was grateful that Cullen allowed himself those many minutes that he’d cuddled with Dorian. Dorian sighed deeply in contentment before he fell asleep again happily.


	8. Testing the Boundaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian finds himself bored and to satiate his need for excitement, he starts to push all the wrong buttons.

                The pair fell into a routine due to Cullen’s insatiable need for the rigid schedule. Cullen would wake early in the morning to take Titus out either running or to the dog park. Cullen would go back home where Dorian would still be sleeping out of boredom mostly. Cullen would grill up some of the muffins which would wake Dorian who would join him for breakfast and they’d eat together. Cullen would work out and then take a shower. Dorian liked to watch him work out as he pretended to read from the couch. Cullen had gone to Dorian’s home to pick up some of the necessary items like his toothbrush, some clothes, and books for his entertainment. The two would then play a game of chess until lunch time where Cullen would cook them something wonderful that Dorian would praise and savor obnoxiously. Cullen would take an hour and a half to go to the coffee shop just to check up on the ladies and to meet Josie the first time. He was happy that everyone seemed to miss him, he let some of his regulars know what was going on and why he hadn’t been around, they understood.

                Halfway through the week, Cullen had gone out to search for that pendant that Dorian had spoken about. He searched all over Dorian’s tiny apartment and then out to the back where he could see the place the scuffle had happened. It made his stomach turn but he continued to look until he saw a glint of something in the nearby bushes. He went over to rejoice at the broken chained pendant. He picked it up to look at it, on the back was written Dorian’s family name. The front had beautiful scrolling designs that seemed to make the pendant feel three dimensional. The chain was broken as if it had been pulled at and snapped from Dorian’s neck. Cullen growled and thought about those Qunari, he needed to find out who these people were. The police had yet to contact him regarding Dorian’s attackers.

                Dorian seemed upset about the pendant when Cullen brought it to him later after he’d brought it to a jeweler to clean and buy a new chain for it. The jeweler had given him a funny look and asked about the pendant and where Cullen had found it. Cullen told him that it was for his friend, it was his birthright and it had been lost previously until Cullen found it. Dorian cursed Cullen for trying to find it for him, saying that he was perfectly capable of finding it himself. Cullen had eventually given up on him with an angered huff, he instead went back out to check on the coffee shop to work for two hours before going back home.

  “I’m bored…” Dorian complained at the end of the week, it was Saturday night.

  “Read,” Cullen suggested as he made dinner. He chopped up the carrots into slices for the stew he was making.

  “I’ve read all my books,” Dorian sighed. He was tired of his cast and the headaches he had occasionally from his concussion. The bruises and the muscles of his pelvis had started to heal up rather nicely; Dorian had explained he had a faster heal time due to being a product of high Tevinter society. “I could really go for an expensive bottle of wine,” Dorian murmured.

  “No alcohol in my house,” Cullen told him.

  “What kind of rule is that?” Dorian scoffed as he came over to the kitchen to see what the Commander was making.

  “One that keeps me out of trouble,” Cullen said, he dumped the carrots into his large pot.

  “Trouble?” Dorian asked.

  “Used to turn to alcohol to cope,” Cullen replied, sighing as he remembered the long, awful nights.

  “You were an alcoholic?” he asked, “how unfortunate,” he looked at the tense Commander. Cullen threw down his pearing knife to fold his arms.

  “If you want dinner you need to shut up and leave me alone!” he told the Vint. Dorian raised his eyebrow at the man, confused.

  “Amatus, what’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I’m sick of your moaning and groaning! You are perfectly fine to go out if you want to or to find yourself some entertainment and yet you insist on being next to me every hour of the day!” Cullen snapped at him.

  “You’re the one who took me in; let’s not blame this all on me!” Dorian said back. “Besides, I’m sick of it here myself, you should just drive me home tonight!” He didn’t really want to leave but he knew he was pushing Cullen’s buttons in the wrong way. Dorian had a bad habit of seeing how far he could push a person or his research; it usually didn’t end well for him or the other party. If Cullen wanted to be angry at him then Dorian would be angry in turn; defiant to the last drop.

  “If that’s what you want then fine!”

  “Yes, it is!”

                Titus was confused with the dynamics in the car as Cullen drove Dorian and all his belongings back to his tiny apartment. Both the boys were angry with the other and he didn’t know which one to try to comfort from the back seat. He had to opt for his master but he knew better than to bother Cullen while he was driving. He whined when Cullen helped bring Dorian’s stuff up to his apartment and throw it on the floor. The two exchanged more words of disgust and anger before Cullen left with Titus. Titus whined as they drove off without Dorian, Cullen told him to shut up and sit quietly. Cullen made it home before he broke down. He loved the man and he just blew up on him for stupid and menial reasons. Titus climbed over to envelope him in a hug to help.

                Two weeks went by and Dorian didn’t visit the shop, at least, not while Cullen was there. Cullen was not doing well, not a minute went past that he didn’t think about turning back to alcohol, his oldest friend. Cassandra did her best to help the man but she had difficulties handling all of Cullen and his mind. Josie did her best to help at the shop and Leliana tried to keep him occupied. None of it helped.

Cullen found himself at a bar on the way home for three days in a row, whisky in his hands. Then at home with another bottle in his hands as he sat at his dining room table alone. He hadn’t eaten in the last few days either, he had thrown out the old muffins and bread he’d baked. He’d locked Titus in the garage so he could have peace. He knew the wooden door was no match for the Mabari and Titus would eventually get in but he hoped to be drunk beyond recognition before that happened. Cullen vomited in the trash before he stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, passed out. The glass bottle rolled away from him as his Mabari charged through the door to save his master.

                Titus sniffed around the alcohol soaked body of his master; he whined and whimpered as he tried to get Cullen to wake. He licked at his face and nudged him but Cullen wouldn’t wake up. Titus saw the cellphone in Cullen’s pocket and tried to carefully pull it out, he was sure he accidentally nipped his owner but the phone clattered to the floor after he’d dug it out from the pocket with his paws. The screen came up and he pressed on the speed dial number to call someone. He had been trained to do this for this exact instance since Cullen had done this all the time back when he first came home and he was given Titus by the Templar’s. Titus whined as he waited for someone to pick up, a familiar voice over the phone and he smiled.

   “What in Andraste’s name do _you_ want Commander?!” Dorian’s angry voice asked. Titus barked at him. “Titus?” Dorian asked. The dog whined to him. “What are you doing on Cullen’s phone?” he asked, “Cullen? Cullen, are you there?” Titus barked some more before a momentary silence. “Titus…is Cullen alright? Whine to me if he isn’t, bark if he is,” he instructed. Titus whined loudly to him. “ _Maker_ , what’s wrong?” Dorian asked, rustling around. Titus whined again and went to get the whisky bottle to try to make noise with it. “What is that noise? Is someone there with you?” Titus barked at him. “Is that a no?” Titus barked again. “Alright, I’ll be over in fifteen minutes, you keep a watch on him and call me again if something worse starts to happen, alright?” he asked. Titus yipped at him and Dorian hung up. Titus laid his body over Cullen and started to lick at his neck, he was doing his best to warm up his master who had gone cold. With the licks to the neck, he was able to turn Cullen’s head to the side. He laid his head down to whine and wait for his friend to show up.

                Dorian wasn’t sure what to expect when he arrived to Cullen’s home. It seemed calm from the outside. He parked his car in the small driveway and exited, still looking at the house. He knew something was wrong when Titus didn’t bark at him excitedly through the window. He quickly ran up to the house to find it locked, he tried to look through the windows but the blinds were down. He kicked the mat over to get the spare key and unlock it. He heard loud growling from Titus until he showed himself and the growling stopped.

  “Hey pup, what’s wro—“ Dorian stopped when he saw Titus laying over an unconscious Cullen. “Oh _Maker_!” he exclaimed before he ran forward to help the dog. Titus stepped off his human to lick at Dorian’s cheek in affection. “What in Andraste’s name has he done to himself?” he asked, Titus whined and went over to the whisky bottle which he nosed over to Dorian. “Oh…oh no…oh Cullen,” Dorian started to choke up on himself. Realizing the fact that Cullen had turned back to alcoholism because he couldn’t handle Dorian leaving him, his heart stung. Dorian had enough sense to call in an ambulance, there was no way he could safely transport the man, he didn’t know what kind of injuries he may have sustained in his fall or previously. He had no idea how long he had been drinking or if maybe he had alcohol poisoning.

  “Sir, is he a friend of yours?” the paramedic asked him. Dorian nodded. “Do you know if he’s on any medications? Has he had a past with alcoholism?” he asked.

  “No—no medications I’m aware of,” Titus barked at him and pulled at the hem of Dorian’s cotton shirt. “Hold that thought,” he told the paramedic and rushed after Titus to the bathroom where Titus stood up to open the medicine cabinet and nosed at a couple of prescription bottles. “ _Maker_ …I had no idea,” he took the bottles out to look at them and then bring them to the medic.

  “Thanks, alright, looks like anxiety and an antidepressant. No wonder this dude passed out, alcohol on an empty stomach and mixed with these, it’s a time bomb waiting to go off. He’s lucky he did choke on his vomit,” the medic scoffed. Dorian was shaking with the knowledge. “It’s probably nothing to worry about yet but he needs fluids, he’s lost a lot of water with all this vomiting he’s done,” he told him. Dorian nodded.

  “He um…” Dorian swallowed the excess saliva, “he does have a history of alcoholism, I don’t know much but I know when he came home from his tours, he was in very bad shape,” he informed him.

  “Alright, he’s going to have to stay over at the hospital, you can ride with us if you want or take your own car,” the medic offered when they had Cullen up on gurney and already rolling towards the flashing ambulance.

  “I’ll take my car,” Dorian nodded. He gathered himself and Titus whined. “Of course you’re coming along!” he exclaimed to the dog. Titus ran over to the door to grab his harness and leash. He stepped into the arm holes and waited for Dorian to pull it up and fasten it before they clipped the leash on and went out to follow the ambulance to the hospital.

                Dorian sat on the bed next to Cullen while Titus laid on his master, unmoving. His head hurt as he sat in the dim room, it was nearing midnight and he had tears rolling down his cheek steadily at the thought that Cullen wanted to hurt himself. He took Cullen’s left hand in his to caress and bring up to his mouth to kiss gently. He felt like he knew how Cullen had felt when Dorian was in the hospital, the way Cullen had latched to him was the same thing that Dorian felt like doing. He started to mutter in Tevene, asking why Cullen wanted to harm himself, why he didn’t think that he had so much to live for, why he didn’t just come out to say that he loved Dorian. Cullen looked terrible, ashen grey skin and sunken figure which meant he hadn’t been eating on top of it all. Dorian looked down at his friend and shook his head.

                The Vint stayed up all night, waiting for Cullen to wake up from his peaceful slumber as the needle gently filled him with the nutrients he needed. Dorian sat in the high wing back chair; it was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture he’d ever sat on. He watched and waited. He watched Titus, looking for signs that only Titus could detect from his master. It was near six in the morning that Titus picked his head up and tilted it down to his master; he knew. Dorian watched him still, wondering if he should get the nurse or to wait. He heard the groan and Cullen’s head turned. Titus looked to Dorian and gave a quiet woof. Dorian got up to grab a nurse from the hall. She checked on the man as Dorian stood at the end of the bed, trying not to get in the way. The nurse took the tube out from Cullen’s stomach that was down his throat, the man started to wake and choke on it just as she finished removing it. She was quick to grab the pail and turn Cullen’s head to it as he vomited into it. Dorian looked away and grimaced, he had to move away at the smell, it smelled like pure stomach bile. Once he was done, Cullen rested his head at the side and fell into more sleep for the time being as noted by Titus’s head laying back down. The nurse did a few more things before she told Dorian that he should wake up soon, just fine. Dorian nodded to her and still kept his distance for the moment. He tried to think about what to say to the man, he certainly couldn’t trust his mind at the moment, he was too emotionally scarred to think straight and he’d only piss off Cullen again. Titus’s head perked up again and Dorian knew this was it.

  “Titus…” Cullen mumbled, his eyes started to flutter open but he kept them squinted in the room as he started to come around. Titus’s tail wagged and he stood up to lick at the man’s cheek. Cullen smiled at him and lifted a weak hand to pet him and try to push him away. Titus sat back down and Dorian knew the exact moment that Cullen spotted him. The smile had faded from Cullen’s face as he stared at the Vint. “What’re you doin’ here?” he asked weakly.

  “I brought you to the hospital,” Dorian told him. Cullen suddenly looked around; he seemed to be shocked and started to go in panic mode. Dorian rushed forward to sit on the bed and quickly pull the man into a hug the best he could, his right arm was still in a sling so just the left arm would have to do. Dorian shushed him gently and kissed his forehead as Cullen cried, realizing what had happened to him. “It’s not your fault amatus, I am so sorry I pushed you,” he rocked him gently as Cullen held him.


	9. Support and Trashcan Lids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen asks Dorian to stay with him. After going out for a walk, Dorian finds something that he wish he didn't.

                It took most of the morning to get Cullen out of his rut. Dorian did his best to show his support for his friend and explain how sorry he was that this all happened. He never meant to push so far that he actually went back to the alcohol. Cullen was distant when they released him after he was healthy enough again. The doctor gave them instructions on what to do when they got home and how to care for him. He suggested that he also see a therapist again, Dorian agreed. Dorian had started to see his own therapist the last week with everything that had gone on, it had been hard to find one that didn’t judge him because he was a Vint. He was starting to believe that everyone hated Tevinter’s besides Cullen.

                Dorian stuck around for a while when they were back to Cullen’s house. He made him call the therapist to set up an appointment for the following day. Dorian wasn’t sure if he should go back to his own home to give Cullen his space or to stay and watch him. Cullen finally spoke up to ask him to stay; he didn’t want to relapse in the night. Dorian sat with him on the couch as Cullen finally opened up about what had been truly bothering him. He sobbed as he spoke about the Hero of Ferelden and how, when he’d been tortured by the abominations, he kept hallucinating the Hero was there. They were maddening and agonizing hallucinations, they were real—or at least they seemed real. Dorian held him tight through the confessions. Finally, the Hero came back with her gang and defeated the abominations but Cullen had thought it was simply another hallucination, one that looked even more real. Each time he hallucinated, they tried to make him think that she was real. He was broken and used by the enemy. It took months and even years to finally figure out reality from the hallucinations. He confessed that he even thought Dorian had been a hallucination at one point, a strange reincarnation of the Hero. The Hero had died during that blighted war; she did it saving all of Ferelden. Cullen confessed that he still loved her and she was the reason that he couldn’t love another, could never place that trust in another. Dorian froze at the mention and tried to keep his composure at the news.

                Cullen went on to tell him about the Free Marches and Kirkwall when he went back on another tour. He spoke about the betrayal of his Knight-Captain, how much it hurt and stung still. How it felt like a tiny red shard had pierced his heart and scarred him. How he could never go on tour again, he could never face the betrayal again. By the time he’d finished, he was laying back on Dorian to was absentmindedly playing with the golden hair as the man nearly fell asleep on him. Cullen had cried himself into exhaustion.

  “Amatus…I cannot carry you like you do to me, do you wish to sleep here or your room?” he asked, rubbing his fingers gently over his face.

  “Mm…bed,” Cullen breathed out.

  “You have to get up then, come on, I will help you,” Dorian pulled them both up. Cullen walked in his sleep; leaning heavily against Dorian until they were in his room. Dorian put him to sleep in bed; he kept the trash can close by and then crawled in beside the man. Titus jumped up between them to sleep. The trio fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the day.

                Dorian woke to Cullen vomiting off the side of the bed into the trash can thankfully. He quickly moved closer to rub at his shirted back, it was sweaty but he did it anyway. Cullen tensed at the touch but finished up to cry and sob. Dorian could smell that the force of the vomit had also caused Cullen to shit his underwear.

  “Come on amatus, to the bathroom,” he urged him to slide off the bed. Cullen followed his direction and sat on the toilet after Dorian had taken his underwear off and deposited it in the hamper; there was only a little stain on there after all. Cullen ended up shitting on the toilet; Dorian thanked his lucky stars that he didn’t have to deal with too much of a mess. Titus stayed close to them but far enough away to be out the way, he watched patiently. Dorian was able to get Cullen to blow his nose, rinse his mouth out, and brush his teeth before he set up the bath for him. He took the shirt off Cullen’s body and then the socks so he was naked. Cullen wasn’t registering that he was naked in front of Dorian; Dorian was so turned off at the moment that he didn’t even look at him. He’d never done work like this before, if anything, his slaves had done it to him in the past. He also silently thanked all his previous slaves for doing this kind of work.

  “Come, into the bath,” Dorian ushered him and gently helped him to lower down into the warm water. Cullen sunk in with a contented sigh. Dorian took off his shirt to help bathe the man with his left hand. “Are you alright amatus?” he asked first, cupping the red cheek, wiping away stray tears as he relaxed in the bath tub. Cullen looked at him and nodded. “I’m glad,” Dorian tried to give him a smile; he was much too overwhelmed with all that had happened to give a real smile. He’d always been a fantastic actor but this was all too real. He grabbed the cloth and soap to lather and start to scrub Cullen down, all his nooks and crannies until the man was sparkling, metaphorically speaking of course. Dorian drained the bath tub and grabbed a towel to wipe off his own arm first and then he started to dry off his friend. He started at the top, made him stand up and he worked his way down to his knees before he had him step out to get to his lower legs and feet until he was mostly dry. “Alright, come now, let’s grab you some appropriate clothing,” he led the man back to his room. He let Cullen sit on the bed as he rummaged through his closet to find a nice tee shirt and a pair of jeans. He first put Cullen’s underwear on and then his jeans slipped up to zip and button. Cullen seemed appreciative of being covered. Next were socks and then the shirt over top.

  “Come, let’s take Titus out for a walk, hm?” Dorian offered him; they had plenty of time before the psychiatrist appointment. Cullen nodded and Dorian laced his shoes on before his own. He led the two out the door after they had dressed Titus in his harness and leash. “So, you have a lovely neighborhood, have I ever told you that?”

  “No,” Cullen shook his head and spoke softly.

  “It’s nothing like Tevinter. _Maker_ , I don’t even refer to it as home any more. To me, this is home now. I like to think that home is where your friends are and I never was able to experience that before. Now that I have it, I don’t want to give it up,” he spoke; it seemed to help Cullen as background noise.

  “But you didn’t speak to me for two weeks,” Cullen said quietly, seemingly in pain. Titus quietly watched them as they walked leisurely.

  “And for that I am sorry amatus. I’m still new to this whole…friendship thing and…I didn’t realize that it wasn’t all take-take, it’s take-give. I cannot expect you to call me if I don’t call you back or call you first,” he explained. “I…I realize now that…just as you care for me, I care deeply for you and about what happens to you. When I was first hurt and you wept on me as if I had died, that scared me and I didn’t know what to think of it. I’ve only even known physical attraction, not mental. So, to know that you cared for me so much, regardless of my gender…it scared me to think that I loved you for more than just your looks but for who you are. Perhaps it is cliché of me, I’ve never been fantastic at expressing myself like this—though, I’d hate the thought that you didn’t think I was fantastic at everything,” he chuckled, he saw a small smile spread on Cullen’s lip at the jest. Dorian thought about his words, he knew that they were nearly meaningless since Cullen could never love him back the way that he loved him, not entirely at least. He sighed at the thought but continued speaking.

  “I know that it scares you, to know that I do indeed love you, not just your looks but all of you. I’d like to think that a person can fall in love with another person merely due to who they are and not because of their gender or race…but I understand if you cannot love me back the way I’d wish you did,” he looked away from Cullen, waiting for his response.

  “Thanks,” Cullen whispered to him. Dorian nodded, that was all he needed. He would stay with Cullen but he wouldn’t push his love on him any further now that he’d expressed himself. They were quiet for most of the walk after. They soon turned around to head home. Titus suddenly started to growl when they came nearer to Cullen’s home. Dorian looked around for any signs of danger and then looked to Cullen who still seemed depressed. Was Titus growling because Cullen was still in a funk?

  “What’s wrong?” he asked Titus.

  “Qunari? There aren’t any that live around here that I know of,” Cullen murmured as he looked ahead. Dorian looked to the front yard of Cullen’s home, his heart pounded quicker and harder when he saw them.

  “Oh _Maker, kaffas! Fasta vass!_ ” Dorian started to back away from them. Cullen looked back at him to see what was wrong.

  “Dorian?” he asked, Titus looked back at him before he pulled at the leash and growled loudly to the Qunari, alerting them. They had been looking into the house, likely trying to break in. Dorian was still slowly backing away from his previous attackers. Cullen looked back to the Qunari as they looked over to them.

  “That’s him! Get back here you fucking Vint! We aren’t through with you!” the leader announced. It was almost as if something snapped in Cullen, his color suddenly returned as he unclipped the leash from his dog.

  “Dorian, hide!” Cullen yelled at him before he charged at the Qunari with a yell. His dog growled and snarled as they charged the three big Qunari. Dorian watched from behind a garbage can as he called the police to alert them of the scuffle. He prayed hard that Cullen wouldn’t get hurt but the next thing he knew, Cullen had the biggest one on the ground, straddling him as he repeatedly punched him out. Without even looking, he bounced up and grabbed the third one by the horns that was headed towards Dorian and pulled him down to smash his face into the ground. Titus had the second one down in a matter of second. The third was down for the count but the first got up again to tackle Cullen.

  “No!” Dorian yelled out as he stood. He grabbed the round trash can lid and threw it like a Frisbee into the first male. The lid hit the horns of the Qunari as Dorian sunk back down to cower. With the distraction of the lid, Cullen was able to gain the advantage and slammed one of the horns into the concrete; breaking it clean off. The Qunari screamed as the blood splattered from the horn. Cullen was thrown back from the Qunari and the male tried to ram his forward pointing horns at the fallen Commander. “Hey!” Dorian yelled out and this time, he ran at the Qunari. He may not work out like Cullen did but he knew how to throw around his weight. He quickly attacked the Qunari and with the gravitational pull of his body in motion, it spun the Qunari around and squished Dorian underneath him. Cullen was up again and Titus had finished off the second one.

  “Get off him,” Cullen commanded the Qunari as the male put his hands up. Cullen had taken out a knife he had hidden by his door steps. The Qunari let Dorian up, the man crawled out as he huffed and puffed.

  “Holy Andraste…” Dorian looked at the mess they had made. The Templar car rolled up with its lights flashing, another car soon followed.

  “Are you alright?” Cullen looked to Dorian, huffing as well with the exertion.

  “Am _I_ alright? Cullen, you just took out three Qunari!” Dorian exclaimed, “I should be the one asking you if you’re alright! You go from hospital bed to Grey Warden in three seconds!” he put a hand to his head, impressed, worried, and amazed. Cullen just started to smile at him, there it was, the hand at the neck.

  “Well…you were in trouble,” he shrugged. Titus trotted up to them, tongue lolling out and blood dripping from his mouth. “Good job pup! You did so well!” Cullen knelt down to pet and praise his Mabari. “Oh…okay…yeah, not so good,” Cullen said as he staggered backwards. Dorian was able to catch him in time but the ex-Templar was too heavy to hold up. Instead, Dorian softened the fall onto his ass as he held his arm.

  “Are you okay?” Dorian was quick to kneel by him and check him over as Cullen smiled.

  “I’m okay, just…a little more tired than I thought,” he admitted quietly as he huffed and sat on his front lawn. Dorian stayed close as the police Templar’s came up to collect the Qunari who had a hefty list of felonies on their heads by now. Dorian thanked them after they had gathered all the information they needed from the two. Once the cars were gone, a silence fell over the area, peaceful. The two were standing again, Dorian kept close to Cullen in case he needed support but after his rest, Cullen seemed stronger again. Dorian looked to Cullen and smiled as he shook his head.

  “I’m sorry,” he said preemptively.

  “For what?” Cullen asked him.

  “This,” Dorian said before he hooked his left hand around Cullen’s neck to bring him into a passionate kiss. Dorian didn’t allow it to last long knowing that Cullen wasn’t into him but he needed to show his appreciation and that’s how he usually did it. Cullen did push him away when the kiss lasted just a little too long.

  “Dorian,” Cullen chastised him which made Dorian smile, a real smile.

  “ _Maker_ , I’m just glad that you’re alive,” he pulled him into a hug instead; his right arm between them awkwardly since it was still in a sling. “I don’t know what I’d do had you…had you left me for good,” he pressed himself against the man. Cullen hugged him back, patting his shoulder.

  “Come on, I’ve been aching for a game of chess!” Cullen pulled him along, his arm still around Dorian’s shoulders as he led him along. He beckoned Titus to follow; the dog yipped at them and happily followed them inside for the game.


	10. Jealousy Strikes a Chord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen offers Dorian a job and a place to stay for the summer, he eventually accepts but regrets it when Cullen places house rules against bringing other men into the house.

                Another two weeks flew by for the duo, the semester was ending and Cullen asked what Dorian was going to do for the summer, would he go home? Dorian told him that he’d stick around and work on his dissertation, perhaps find a small job. Cullen offered Dorian to stay at his home with him and work at the coffee shop. At first, Dorian refused, remembering how the last time turned out for them. Cullen assured him that it would be different; Dorian wouldn’t be so bored with all the chores he would have to do and with all his schoolwork with him. After three days of trying to persuade him, Dorian accepted the job and the home. It took four days for Dorian to pack his belongings and move them to Cullen’s house, another two for him to be totally settled in. Cullen told him that he could have anything in the house other than alcohol, Dorian agreed with him wholeheartedly.

  “Oh, I have a friend stopping by today, I’m going to hang out with him for a while,” Dorian told Cullen when they were closing together. The Vint had started to change his fashion to something that was both Tevinter and Ferelden; he still wore leather frequently but occasionally Cullen would find him in a cotton tee shirt and jeans, the man could pull off anything. Today was one of those days that he wore a tighter fitting white tee with light wash jeans that hugged his ass. He wore military style boots on his feet and a thick metal bracelet cuff on his right wrist. It was a strange combination but Cullen couldn’t help being attracted to seeing Dorian in the tight clothing; it showed off his body without being naked.

  “Sure, I don’t mind. I’m not your mother you know,” Cullen chuckled, sneaking in a look to the man’s body as he worked.

  “I’m aware, but I also know that you love your routine!” Dorian grinned back at him. “Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be there for dinner is all,” he said as he mopped the floor.

  “That’s a shame, I was making Kale stew tonight,” Cullen said with a smirk.

  “ _Kaffas_! You couldn’t make it tomorrow? I promise I’ll be there tomorrow!” Dorian begged him which made Cullen laugh.

  “Alright, alright, I suppose!” he agreed.

  “You’re the best,” Dorian kissed his cheek. Cullen had gotten used to his affections; he took it as just how Dorian was.

  “So who’s the friend?” Cullen asked, making small talk as he cleaned out the iced coffee machine.

  “His name is Iron Bull, I’ve known him the longest here, he’s actually the one who helped me make a bunch of other friends here,” Dorian nodded.

  “You mean I’m not your _only_ friend?!” Cullen gave a playful gasp at the knowledge.

  “Ha, ha,” Dorian rolled his eyes, “no, I’ve got other friends! Maybe not like you but I certainly have a few!” Dorian pointed at him for good measure.

  “Damn right you don’t have a friend like me,” Cullen chuckled to himself.

  “ _Maker_ damn you, Cullen,” Dorian growled at him.

  “What? What did I do?” Cullen looked to him with a raised eyebrow.

  “You make me all hot and bothered and don’t even have the decency the do anything about it!” he said, angry about it.

  “Oh, that, sorry,” Cullen shrugged and went about his way. The more he waited to tell Dorian that he loved him in the same way, the harder it became, literally and figuratively.

  “Oh! Bull’s here! Finish the floor for me amatus?” he set the mop in the bucket. Cullen looked up to see a rather large Qunari walking up to the store.

  “He’s a Qunari?!” Cullen asked.

  “Of course! Did you expect and Elf with that name?” Dorian chuckled as he took off his apron and threw it to Cullen before he went to the door to greet his friend. Cullen watched the male Qunari smile widely to Dorian and entered the shop, talking up a storm already with the Vint. This Qunari seemed different, Cullen definitely knew not all Qunari were bad, it had just been those three. He had never had any issue with the student Qunari but after the run in with the other three; they left a bad taste in his mouth. “Amatus, come!” Dorian beckoned him over. Cullen dried his hands off on his apron and came out from behind the counter. “Cullen, this is Bull, Bull, this is Cullen,” he introduced them.

  “Cullen! It’s so good to meet you! I’ve heard so much already!” the Qunari forewent the handshake that Cullen offered and went straight to hug him. Cullen squeaked at the bone crushing hug.

  “Uh, you too Bull, I…I haven’t heard anything about you,” he looked to Dorian who simply shrugged.

  “That’s quite alright; I expect that, especially after that incident with the other three. What I wouldn’t give to smash their faces in!” Bull slammed his fist into his hand to demonstrate his power.

  “Yes, it did feel mighty good, I’ll admit that,” Cullen nodded with a smile.

  “Bull was the one who made me settle on Skyhold. He kind of picked me up off the streets actually, but he’s been to Tevinter which is why we bonded so quickly!” Dorian exclaimed happily.

  “I see,” Cullen nodded.

  “Damn right I picked you up,” Bull chuckled at him. Dorian was hanging off his arm and looking at him sensually. Bull leaned down to kiss the Vint. Cullen had a surge of jealousy but he didn’t act on it, not yet, he watched Dorian lean into the kiss as if he were putting on a show and even moaned quietly. Cullen could see tongue between them and nearly vomited right there.

  “Alright, well you two have fun then,” Cullen interrupted them. Bull smirked to Dorian as if he knew something. “Go on, I have to finish closing the store,” Cullen shooed them.

  “If you insist,” Dorian waved to him and left with the Qunari, arm in arm. Cullen started to grumble and murmur about how it was unnatural for a man to go with a Qunari. Cullen definitely didn’t think it was so bad since he went for Elves himself sometimes but the fact that Dorian was with Bull made Cullen a very jealous man. He forcefully finished his chores at the store and closed up shop. He went home and even grumbled all the way there and then when he saw Titus who wagged his tail happily to see his master. Cullen took a jog with Titus, still grumbling about Dorian.

                Cullen let the acts continue for another week; he was getting to the breaking point again. Dorian’s cast came off which delighted the Vint to no end, he was completely healed up but he also started to bring other males home instead which made the Commander fume. Titus would keep next to Cullen but would keep looking at the door as they could both hear Dorian and the other man having sex. Finally, he said no more.

  “What do you mean I’m banned for bringing home others?!” Dorian roared at him.

  “It’s my house and it’s my rules!” Cullen used the excuse. “I also don’t want you to see any other guys from here on out as long as you live here,” he added, his face heating with what he was going to say.

  “Excuse me?! Who are you to run my life?! I can go out and fuck every guy I please!” Dorian growled as they circled around each other, picking up the mess in the living room. “Why do you get the play around by I don’t?”

  “Because I want to date you,” Cullen finally said.

  “That’s no excuse for—wait, what?” Dorian stopped to look at him.

  “You heard me, I want to date you,” he repeated; even his ear tips were red with his embarrassment.

  “Andraste…finally!” Dorian went around the coffee table to kiss Cullen. Cullen backed from him until he hit the wall next to the fridge and nearly fell into the trash can. Dorian’s hands were all around Cullen until the Commander grabbed them to completely remove the Vint from him.

  “Dorian! Baby steps!” he exclaimed.

  “I apologize amatus, but I’ve longed to touch you since I met you!” Dorian looked him over. “Can we at least kiss?” he asked. Cullen looked down to the trashcan digging into his leg.

  “Maybe somewhere else where I’m not going to fall into the trash?” Cullen asked, looking back up to his new boyfriend.

  “I suppose,” Dorian chuckled and pulled him away from the wall. Dorian wanted the bedroom but Cullen pulled him to the couch. “Fine, lay down so I can get my hands on that wonderful body of yours!” he directed Cullen. The Commander defied him and sat down normally with a goofy grin to his face. Dorian rolled his eyes but he straddled his lap anyway and spread his knees so he could rub his groin against Cullen’s to elicit something from him.

  “Dorian! Kiss first; we can do that later, okay? You’ll have to remember this is my first time!” Cullen told him, grabbing his hips to still him.

  “First, ever?” Dorian asked.

  “Well…with a man, yes,” he nodded.

  “I am going to have so much fun with you,” Dorian smirked at him before he leaned forward to gently kiss the Commander. This was much more Cullen’s pace, the man held onto Dorian’s hips tightly still in fear that he’d start up again. Dorian gently cupped Cullen’s face to urge him to kiss back. “You can move your hands if you like, I’m not going to move, I promise,” he whispered.

  “I…I don’t know where to put them,” Cullen admitted. Dorian grinned before he tilted his head to the side to plant more kisses to Cullen’s scarred lips as he trailed his hands down the Commander’s shoulders and his arms to his hands. Dorian showed him what felt good.

  “Like this, over nipples, up to caress the neck,” he took Cullen’s right hand up to his neck and actually shivered at the contact. “Down over nipples again and maybe abs, around to the back, sometimes pulling towards yourself,” he let out a breathless moan when he pushed himself towards Cullen in pretend. “Then down, hips are always good, penis when we get there, down the inseam of pants and back up, around to ass—oh yes, just like that amatus!” Dorian moaned to him and sat up on his knees to lean against Cullen when the man grabbed his ass through his jeans. Cullen grinned up to him but let go to allow Dorian to sink back down so he could kiss him. Dorian pushed forward to attack his lips again as Cullen moved his hands on his own now, not as quick or hard as Dorian would like but they had plenty of time to work on it. “Mm, suck on my lower lip,” Dorian instructed him. Cullen did as he was told and Dorian slowly pulled from him; his lip bouncing back when it slipped from Cullen. The Vint moved back in to nibble against Cullen’s lips which prompted a small gasp to escape the man. “Open your mouth a bit,” he said.

   “Why?” Cullen asked, just as he did and his mouth opened, Dorian dove in with his tongue. Cullen pulled back in surprise but he quickly realized what that type of kissing did to him. The heat spiraling down into his pants left him barely breathing as he looked at Dorian’s smug face.

  “That’s the look of a man about to cum,” Dorian grinned.

  “What? Am not!” Cullen defended himself. “I mean…we go from zero to hundred, I might be a little out of practice is all!” he shook his head.

  “It’s alright amatus, I’d be pleased if you orgasmed for me, we do have all night you know,” Dorian purred against him, his hands at Cullen’s pectorals. “Do you want to keep kissing or move on, I could blow you— _Maker_ , I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you too,” he breathed out at Cullen’s neck, pressing gentle kisses.

  “Uh…kissing,” Cullen replied. “I…I’m a little overwhelmed right now,” he admitted.

  “Hmm, apologies,” Dorian backed off; his hands went back to hugging Cullen and caressing his cheek as he kissed Cullen’s mouth again. “Better?” he asked. Cullen mumbled his agreement. Dorian nibbled at his lip again before he slithered his tongue into Cullen’s mouth. Cullen took in a sharp breath as he felt Dorian’s tongue find his own. Cullen brought his hand up to Dorian’s neck to keep him close, the Vint purred in approval. The Commander started to experiment with his own tongue, Dorian was kissing him languidly which gave him time to think about what he was doing. Each time they broke lips, Cullen would start to chase after Dorian’s lips to bring him back into the tongue on tongue kiss that was making him harder than porphyry. Dorian continuously moaned at the action, sliding his tongue against Cullen’s as they made out on Cullen’s couch. Dorian risked it and rubbed his groin against Cullen’s impossibly hard erection, he did it a few times; up and down until Cullen sputtered and breathed hard as he broke the kiss to moan and let his head fall back. Dorian went to his neck as he kept his groin pressed against his boyfriend’s. Cullen had enough sense to grab Dorian’s ass and press them together. The Vint didn’t expect his orgasm to creep up like that; he also hadn’t expected Cullen to do something like that either. He leaned forward and moaned as he continued to suckle on the Commander’s neck as they both finished in their pants.

  “Oh _Maker_ …” Cullen breathed out, coming off his high but he wiggled his groin against Dorian’s to elicit more noises from the Tevinter. “So wonderful,” Cullen whispered.

  “So handsome and beautiful,” Dorian started to talk to him from his neck still. “I can’t wait to have more of you but if you don’t want to move so quickly, that’s alright by me. This orgasm will last me a while,” he chuckled. “But fuck, you were so good to me, squeezing my ass like that. It’s a definite turn on for me,” he gently rubbed their softening cocks together through their jeans, the little bit of friction was still enjoyable. “Mm, and the way you sound! Ugh, I could listen to you all day and orgasm without being touched!” he exclaimed which made Cullen chuckle.

  “Thank you for giving me time to adjust here,” Cullen patted Dorian’s flank. Dorian picked his head up to look at his boyfriend with a smile; the curve of his mustache only accentuated it.

  “I cannot promise to always reign myself in, you make me crazy just to think about all the possibilities between us! But I will do my best amatus,” he said to him and played with Cullen’s hair with his right hand, happy to be able to feel and use it again.

  “Is amatus another form of friend? You were calling me amicus before, similar words, right?” Cullen asked him, purring with the hand petting his hair.

  “It means, my love, or at least something close to that,” Dorian answered him.

  “Oh,” Cullen opened his tired eyes to look at him, trying to recall how long Dorian had been calling him that. Granted, he knew Dorian had been attracted to him since day one, but their friendship had evolved so much in the two months they’d known each other. “Do you…want to lay down for a bit maybe?” he asked, looking towards the hall.

  “Do you think I’d turn down that invitation?” Dorian chuckled at him, his eyes crinkling with his smile before he kissed Cullen’s lips squarely, he did so love to share his affections.

  “Well, perhaps if you’d been hungry, there is some left over spinach puffs if you’d like any,” Cullen offered.

  “The only thing I hunger for, is you,” Dorian kissed him again, this time he lingered a little longer. Cullen smiled at him; happy. The two awkwardly got off the couch and Dorian pulled Cullen back to make out with him again as he walked them backwards towards the hall. Titus was watching them from the floor, wondering what exactly they were doing; he’d never seen his owner act like this before. Cullen moaned with their tongues in mouth as he grabbed Dorian’s ass again, the Vint breathed out sharply as he tilted his head to attack his lips again; keeping his hand around the Commander’s neck to keep his close as they took little steps. Cullen backed them right into the wall of the hall; Dorian huffed at the hit but leaned back against it and bit his lip as Cullen looked him over. “You keep looking at me like that I’m bound to jump you and ride you right here on the floor,” Dorian warned him.

  “Would that be so bad?” Cullen asked him, smirking when he got the response he wanted from the Vint.

  “I don’t want to do anything to you that you aren’t ready for, but _Maker_ , if you say yes then I am liable to ripping your clothes off,” he breathed out.

  “What would Titus say?” Cullen asked and giggled when Dorian grumbled.

  “He’d better stay out of our escapades, I will not have sex with you if he’s watching,” Dorian shook his head. Titus whined at them, the two looked down and Cullen grinned.

  “We’ll be fine pup; you just stay out here, yeah?” Cullen told him. Titus howled at him but he laid his head down to show that he’d be a good boy and he’d stay. “Looks like we’re on our own,” Cullen turned back to Dorian who was biting his lip sensually.

  “Race you there!” Dorian said before he ripped from Cullen’s hold to race down the hall.

  “Hey! No fair!” Cullen ran after him. He knew their relationship would have its ups and downs, but _Maker_ , if every night turned out to be like this one, Cullen knew that they’d be just fine.


	11. How Love is Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen learns how to make love for the first time. Dorian let's Cullen know that he's learned a lot through the months he'd spent with him, mostly, the fact that a relationship isn't built solely on sex.

                Cullen leaned down to capture Dorian’s lips in his as he languidly made out with him. Dorian’s hands were all around his naked body; mapping out all the territories he now had claim over. Cullen was on top of him and between his legs; resting erection near Dorian’s. His strong arms held him up but Dorian pulled him down to lay on the Vint; wanting to heat that Cullen had to offer him. Cullen was easily coming undone with their kissing; he never imagined that tongues sliding against tongues would be such a turn on for him. Dorian’s mustache tickled him but he endured, taking a sharp breath in when Dorian’s colder hand traveled down his side.

  “Damn it, why is your hand so cold?” Cullen jerked away from it.

  “Cold hand, warm heart?” Dorian asked with a grin. “Currently all my blood flow is running down to fuel another organ so it’s not my fault,” he answered as he looked down to their pressed groins.

  “I generally generate more heat when I’m hot like this,” Cullen said.

  “You probably have more blood than me,” Dorian chuckled at him; it wasn’t true, he knew that. “In all seriousness though, your body is built to tolerate the colder weather here in the mountains, it can regulate itself to heat up. My body is used to a veritable oasis in the desert—“

  “Tevinter isn’t that nice.”

  “Shush!” Dorian growled at him, “it is too! But I’m a desert orchid, put me in the cold and I’ll wither!” he explained.

  “I’m too horny to know if you’re just screwing with me or not so I’ll let it pass for now,” Cullen shook his head with a smile; Dorian grinned and pulled him back down into a kiss. He slithered his hand between the two of them to try to stimulate them both but Cullen jerked and moved away again. “Okay, can you at least warm up your hand before you do that?” he asked.

  “Alright, alright!” Dorian sighed, “come, on your back,” he shooed him. Cullen was confused for what he wanted but did it all the same. He laid on his back with his right knee bent up just slightly. Dorian took a moment to completely look the man over. “How lucky I am to have you, and all for myself,” he purred as he rolled to give Cullen the kiss that he desired. Dorian pulled away after and straddled Cullen’s hips to grind himself against the Commander while he rubbed his hands together. “There, now I can do this _and_ warm my hands,” he smiled to Cullen who had moaned and let his head loll to the side. Cullen moved his hands up Dorian’s thighs; Dorian bit his lip again and pushed into the hands that were slowly skating up towards his pelvis. Cullen watched himself as he experimented and wrapped his hand around Dorian’s slightly smaller cock to jerk him off. Dorian moaned and grabbed Cullen’s wrist to keep him there, without any real lubricant, the friction stung but Cullen’s hand was warm, far warmer than his.

  “I could ride your hand into oblivion!” Dorian panted above him.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, you’ve got the best hands, so big…mm, so warm,” Dorian shivered as he thrust in and out of the hand around him.

  “As big as that Qunari, Bull?” Cullen asked. Dorian raised his eyebrow and looked down to him.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Maybe.”

  “To be honest, your hands are just right. Bull’s were too big,” he gave his answer, Cullen seemed to be satisfied. “You do realize that I was only with him to make you jealous, yes?” he had to ask. Cullen shot a glare at him.

  “And what about all the other men you brought home?!” he asked, his face still angry but Dorian just smiled at him happily.

  “Did you really think that having sex is normally that loud, every single night?” he had to ask. Cullen was taken aback but he gave a confused look, so Dorian hadn’t been banging everyone and their brothers? Dorian recognized the look, a man who really didn’t know. “Oh amatus, you are so adorable! No, it doesn’t sound like that every night. I only had sex once this past week and that was last night—I apologize, that man was nearly as handsome as you and I hadn’t fucked in nearly six weeks!” he exclaimed.

  “Oh…” Cullen was only able to get out. “Six weeks?” he asked, calculating. He knew exactly what date that brought him to. “That was…that was the week…you haven’t had…sex since then?” he asked, speaking quietly in case Dorian was triggered or something. The man smiled down at him and leaned down to kiss him languidly and lovingly.

  “That was when I realized how much I loved you, maybe I didn’t understand it all right away but I knew in my heart that you were the one I needed to be with,” he told him. Cullen’s hand had stopped some time ago and was loosely hanging around Dorian’s cock.

  “I…I’m sorry it took so long,” Cullen told him, ashamed of himself that he made Dorian wait.

  “I’m not,” Dorian shook his head. Cullen looked up to him with his question of why. “It gave me time to understand what being in a relationship about and,” he smiled to his lover, “I think it gave you time to figure out that love comes in all shapes, sizes, and genders. No, I can’t give you babies down the road, but Maker, I swear to you that I will never let anything get in the way of loving you,” he lifted his right hand to caress Cullen’s face, smoothing out his eyebrow and cupping him before he bent down to kiss him again, Cullen’s smile had been hard to resist. “In toto corde meo, et vos non requiescent,” Dorian whispered to him, professing his love.

  “You are terrible, I wish I could say something in a language that you don’t know,” Cullen pouted at him which made Dorian’s eyes crinkle with his smile; his white teeth showing brilliantly against his darker skin.

  “You have something much more powerful than words, amatus,” Dorian went on. Cullen cocked his head at the mention. “You show your love in your actions and all you do,” Dorian started to gently rock his hips in Cullen’s slack hold. “You remember when you took me to the hospital, when you cried on me? You showed me there how much you cared for me and how devastated you’d be if I had left. When you offered to stay at your home so I could be safe, how you held me tight and tried to make everything right for me. And yes, as much as I never want you to do it again, when you turned back to alcohol. All of it showed me that love can exist without sex—although it’s wonderful to participate in—but love is what holds it all together and without, life seems so meaningless. Actions will always speak louder than what you’d call, fancy words,” he told his lover. Cullen seemed to be in awe of him, he’d tightened his hand to help Dorian along.

  “I love you Dorian,” Cullen said quietly, the sound seemed to fill the room. Dorian felt himself warm with the words, even if actions spoke louder, the way Cullen sounded always made him feel like he belonged here. He made words sound so sincere that Dorian never wanted to listen to anyone else but him.

  “I love you too darling,” Dorian whispered when he leaned down to kiss at Cullen’s jaw and down his neck. “I love everything about you but your hands are absolutely a wonderful perk!” he chuckled as he started to rut harder into him; ignoring the burn without lube. “But…I want you to fuck me, as wonderful as this is,” he pulled himself away. Cullen nodded as he moved his hand down to himself to give a few tugs. Dorian grabbed the small bottle of lubricant and smiled down to Cullen who was watching him. “So…do you want to do this or want to watch me?” he offered.

  “You start, maybe I’ll have the courage later,” Cullen shook his head. Dorian bent down to kiss him again, adorable. He swiped his tongue through Cullen’s mouth to turn him on further since his cold hands had deterred him just a bit. Cullen reanimated himself to let his hands wander all around Dorian’s tanned body. Dorian moaned to let him know that he appreciated it. He slicked up two fingers before he pulled away to lean against the two knees that Cullen had pulled up for him. Cullen pulled his pillow down so he could watch easier as he watched Dorian’s hand skirt down his own body; he teased his penis for a moment before he continued down between his legs. Dorian moaned loudly when his one finger intruded his nearly pliant hole; since he had sex just last night his body was still slightly slack for him. He let his mouth hang open to put on a show for his lover. Cullen watched him; caressing Dorian’s thighs again since they were readily available for him.

  “We do this to help stretch out my muscles, you could enter dry but it hurts. Just a couple of fingers for a few minutes helps to take the edge off,” Dorian explained to him. Cullen nodded. Dorian let his head hang forward when he allowed his second finger in and pushed in as far as he could go. Cullen watched a drop of pre-cum form on Dorian’s dick. Cullen decided that he could play with him, maybe it’d feel good. So he reached over to thumb at the erection, he pulled the drop away and along with it, it caused Dorian’s slit to pull apart as well. Suddenly Dorian fell forward onto Cullen; crashing into his chest as he panted and swore up a storm.

  “I—I’m sorry, was it something I did? Should I not do that?” Cullen asked, he’d yelped when the man landed on him; squishing his hand between himself and Dorian until he pulled it out. He watched Dorian’s body quiver and he recognized the small noises that he made from earlier.

  “Fuck, amatus…damn you and your curiosity!” Dorian whined at him, it seemed to have a touch of playfulness in his tone.

  “Are you okay?” Cullen asked him, afraid that he’d hit a trigger or something.

  “Yes and no…” Dorian’s face was away from Cullen’s so he couldn’t see the expression but Dorian’s shoulder was starting to dig into Cullen’s arm, as far as Cullen could tell, Dorian still had fingers in himself. “I…I really enjoy sounding too,” Dorian said, it seemed to be a confession.

  “Sounding like what?” he asked which made the Tevinter chuckle.

  “No, it’s called Urethral Sounding,” he started to explain.

  “What’s that?” Cullen asked, he’d never know if he didn’t find out.

  “Sticking a warmed metal rod up your dick,” he answered.

  “That…doesn’t sound comfortable,” Cullen replied. He started to pet Dorian’s back; he ghosted fingers over the expanse and drew little shapes on him.

  “It is wonderful, it excites the nerves inside of you and if you go far enough…oh _Maker_!” Dorian moaned and kissed Cullen’s pectoral.

  “What does this have to do with why you crashed into me?” Cullen asked, it seemed to be totally out of the blue.

  “Your thumb…when you pulled at my head and the slit came apart…I adore the stimulation play and I may or may not have orgasmed again,” he said, still huddled into Cullen’s chest.

  “Oh…” Cullen said when he realized what had happened to his boyfriend. A smile started to spread across his face. “Just from that little bit?” he asked. That was when Dorian got up to plant his hands on either side of Cullen to glare at him; he did his best to keep his lubed fingers away from the bed sheet. Cullen glanced down at them to see Dorian had indeed orgasmed again and striped Cullen’s stomach but it’d been smeared onto himself when he fell.

  “Cullen, we’ve had nearly two months of foreplay, any little thing done by you is going to set me off!” he told him which made Cullen grin wider, realizing how easy it was going to be to turn Dorian on. Of course, being that easy might not be good either, he imagined them being at work and Dorian trying to pull him away to get him off. “Now, if you’d like to fuck me, I’m more than ready for you,” he sat up.

  “Don’t you want until you’re hard again?” Cullen asked, watching as Dorian took a few tissues to wipe off his lubed hand and their torsos to be clean again.

  “Oh don’t you worry amatus, that will happen very quickly and I fear that if you start after I’m hard, I will last all of two second until I orgasm again!” he exclaimed before he rolled off Cullen to present himself with his legs open. Cullen sat up as well and just looked down to Dorian with a smile. “Stop smiling and get over here!” Dorian told him, agitated. Cullen chuckled at him but did as he was told, he crawled between Dorian’s legs but started a trail of kisses from the inside of his thigh and upwards. Dorian whimpered with the kisses, he had been correct; Cullen watched him harden fairly quickly, it helped that he was six years younger than Cullen. Cullen continued on his endeavor even though Dorian was very verbal about getting on with things. Cullen kissed up the v of his pelvis, avoiding the cock that was already weeping pre-cum. Dorian’s hands tried to urge him on but Cullen would bite the skin below him when Dorian pulled too hard.

  “ _Fasta vass_ …” Dorian growled at him, trying to keep his angry guise up but failing miserably. Cullen smirked as he made his way up between Dorian’s ribs and then to each pectoral and nipple to suckle him gently. Dorian’s left hand went down to grab at Cullen’s bulky arm as he whimpered again, his back arched with the pleasure.

Cullen made a detour with his kisses to Dorian’s shoulder and down the right arm to nip gently at the skin. Dorian continued to swear in all the languages that he knew, his left hand still holding onto the arm. Cullen went down to Dorian’s elbow to give a flat lick to the inside of it, it seemed to do something to Dorian and so he did it again but with the point of his tongue instead. Dorian squirmed under him and panted a light sheen of sweat starting to appear over his body as he tried to prevent himself from orgasming too early again; he was so sensitive now. Cullen continued down the underside of the arm and Dorian just laid there for him, there was no stopping the Commander. Down to his wrist to lick him again and then to the palm of his hand to kiss before he licked it. Cullen moved up to the thumb to take it into his mouth and suck on it. Dorian panted hard and swore loudly.

  “Cullen! Oh…mm…I’m not going to…t—to last if you keep doing that,” he stuttered his speech when Cullen’s tongue pressed against the pad of his thumb. Cullen was bobbing his head slightly on him, _Maker_ , how did he take something and turn it so naughty? Dorian watched him, Cullen pulled off sensually and slowly, letting some saliva stretch between his tongue and the Vint’s thumb. He quickly went back down to suck him off totally, cleaning him dry of saliva.

  “You said we have all night,” Cullen looked up to him with a smirk.

  “But…” Dorian seemed so defeated, “I wanted you to fuck me,” he had bitten his lip red.

  “And I will…eventually,” Cullen moved up to give him a gentle and sweet kiss. “But I want to get to know your body too, it’s not just about penetration, it’s about worshiping you and getting to know your fetishes and triggers,” he smiled down to him.

  “You are going to absolutely and utterly ruin me for anyone else,” Dorian breathed out, he felt completely relaxed now, content in the knowledge that Cullen wanted him so much.

  “Good,” Cullen grinned, his eyes sparkling as he looked down to his boyfriend. “Are you still ready for me?” he asked gently, looking down between them, Dorian had controlled himself enough that he didn’t orgasm but he seemed to be very close.

  “I told you I was ready, five minutes ago!” Dorian growled at him. Cullen smirked and went down to nose at Dorian’s cheek before the Tevinter kissed him; needy and filthy. While Cullen was preoccupied, Dorian slipped his hand down with new lube on it and started to lather his boyfriend’s cock. Cullen jerked at the unexpected hand but moaned at the action and continued kissing Dorian as the Vint lathered him and jerked him off in retaliation.

  “Alright, alright, you’ve got to let go if you want me to fuck you,” Cullen pulled away from him. Dorian smiled and used his tissue to wipe the lube off his hand. Cullen leaned himself close as he lined himself up with Dorian’s fairly pliant hole. He experimented first to just press his head inside, Dorian moaned and Cullen followed suit; this was utterly enjoyable. He pressed a little more before he pulled out, Dorian whined at him and about to tell him to get on with it when Cullen pressed in again. He was fascinated to see how Dorian’s body readily accepted his girth and expanded as he pressed in further, watching himself slide in and listening to Dorian’s moans and sounds of approval. Finally, he was fully seated inside Dorian’s hot heat, he could feel himself pulsating and did his best to control himself and not follow Dorian into orgasm.

  “Kiss me, please?” Dorian asked him, sound just as breathless as Cullen felt. Cullen kept his right hand at Dorian’s hip; holding him up at the right angle as he bent forward to lean on his left arm and do as his lover asked him. Cullen did his best to multitask; thrusting and rolling his hips into Dorian while they made out. He had to admit that his kisses faltered and weren’t as good but Dorian didn’t seem to care. He did however, have five finger shaped bruises on his right arm where Dorian had been gripping him too tightly before.

                The couple were a sweaty mess, both trying to stave off orgasms for the benefit of the other. Cullen was thrusting hard and quickly, his breath came just the same. He’d settled his face in Dorian’s shoulder as he kissed the flesh there instead; not wanting to breathe heavily in the Vint’s face. Dorian’s pants mixed in with his as he mouthed the collar bone, Dorian occasionally remembered he could speak and would praise Cullen’s ability or how big he was or how Dorian could feel everything and never wanted him to stop. Cullen would chuckle at that one and give a nibble to the bruised flesh.

  “I…I can’t last much longer Dorian,” Cullen panted to him; he laid his forehead against Dorian’s shoulder as he started to roll slowly into the man, taking more out and sliding back in sensually. Dorian’s lip was close to bleeding with all the biting he was doing to it. Cullen found the man’s neck absolutely vulnerable so he attacked it with his kisses and tonguing.

  “It’s alright amatus, I cannot either,” he breathed out. Cullen continued to roll, he was doing well until Dorian’s muscles contracted and squeezed him. Cullen let his head fall back to Dorian’s clavicle as he moaned loudly and panted as he came in the Vint. Dorian had his hands all around him; soothing out all the muscles that were bulging around Cullen’s body. Cullen continued his small thrusts; milking himself out. He had enough sense to get his hand between them to jerk off Dorian. It took Dorian off guard and he quickly followed Cullen into his orgasm. He was slightly angry since he wanted to watch all of Cullen’s orgasm but at the same time, it was complete and utter bliss.

                Cullen laid completely on Dorian; hot cheek pressed against the man’s clavicle. He was done orgasming but his body was quivering and he’d jerk slightly every now and then which made Dorian breathe out a little moan. The two were coming off their highs slowly; Dorian took to petting Cullen’s muscled back to soothe him. Cullen sighed contently; ready to fall asleep with the pettings. Dorian did grumble something about being cleaned but Cullen didn’t hear it. Instead, Cullen huffed but shifted himself to get up. Dorian whined and tried to pull him back down. Cullen kissed his forehead and looked at him; Dorian’s eyes had been shut as they rested, he looked quite peaceful.

  “Hey,” Cullen still leaned over him; still inside Dorian and twitching with overstimulation. Dorian sighed but he opened his eyes to look up at him.

  “Hey,” Dorian greeted him back and huffed a smile.

  “Do you want to take a nap?” he asked. Dorian nodded, eyes sliding close again to rest. Cullen slid himself out of Dorian, the man twitched at it but stayed quiet. Cullen grabbed some of the tissues to clean them both off of any liquids or lube before he settled back down on Dorian. The Tevinter raised his right hand to start playing with Cullen’s blonde hair, it’d fallen from its usual fluffed up position but it was soft and springy. Cullen moaned with appreciation as he started to fall asleep; head between Dorian’s pectorals. The fingers in his hair faltered a few times as Dorian entered his own dreamland until finally, they stopped all together. Cullen followed him in sleep shortly after.

                Cullen knew he was smiling in his sleep as he rested on Dorian. The man underneath him was warm now with their activity. Cullen did grumble when he realized how badly he had to urinate though, he didn’t want to move from his hold. He eventually did pick up his head to sigh; Dorian was sleeping contently with his head turned into the pillow, snoring lightly. Cullen pulled himself up slightly which awoke the sleeping Vint. Dorian peered up at him before he sighed and wet his mouth, blinking in the light.

  “You are the best thing to wake up to,” Cullen told him with a smile; he kept himself on his elbows instead of getting up right away. Dorian’s smile was easily the cutest thing he’d ever seen him do. Cullen pulled himself up more so he could give his boyfriend a proper kiss. Dorian turned his head towards him to accept the act; kissing him languidly with a sigh. “I have to get up,” Cullen pulled away.

  “Why? Stay,” Dorian whispered to him, he threw his arms around Cullen and followed him to nearly sitting up to kiss him; tonguing him. Cullen held him up and happily kissed him but his bladder was screaming for him to go. He was surprised that Dorian was so animated this quickly but he was happy for it. He kissed him back in turn; letting his tongue slide against Dorian’s. Cullen let them back down slowly, his bladder momentarily forgetting what it wanted to do when he thought about sex with Dorian again. He pressed the Vint into the pillows and jerked his hips against Dorians to find his own erection starting. Cullen chuckled at him between a kiss to which Dorian looked up at him for.

  “I have to use the bathroom,” Cullen explained to him before he kissed Dorian’s still red lower lip and then gave a little suck to it.

  “But…” Dorian pouted to him.

  “I’ll be right back, don’t worry,” Cullen smiled to him, already pulling away again but Dorian held tight to him; sitting up with his Commander. “Dorian, I’m not going to hold you up and take a piss, now you have to get off before I pee on you!” he warned.

  “That’s some people’s fetish you know,” Dorian shrugged and continued to lay his head on his arm as he held Cullen.

  “Well, it isn’t mine…unless it’s one of yours, but I really do have to go pee and then I promise I’ll come back and if you’d like, we can fuck again, alright?” he tried to detach the Vint from him.

  “Oh fine,” Dorian grumbled but he let go and let himself fall back into the bed; bouncing.

  “I’ll be back,” Cullen bent down to kiss his cheek before he slid out of bed to walk to the bathroom down the hall. Cullen emptied himself with a contented sigh, thankful to relieve himself. He heard Titus in the other room and wondered what his dog was up to; the poor pup was probably bored out of his mind! When Cullen had finished, flushed, and washed his hands, he went out to check on him momentarily. Titus seemed to be happy as he chewed on his antler. It seemed he’d played with a few of his other toys as well so Cullen left him alone for the time being and went back to his boyfriend.

                Cullen smiled to Dorian who was still laying on his back but he was sprawled out on Cullen’s bed; lounging happily it seemed. Dorian was playing with himself gently, barely touching it, he looked more like he was ready to fall back asleep than to have sex. Cullen went forward, the bed dipping with his weight as he crawled up through Dorian’s legs again to situate himself in his previous position. Dorian opened his eyes again and smiled at him tiredly.

  “We can nap more if you like,” Cullen offered.

  “I love you,” Dorian told him, the genuine small smile was there, his skin at his eyes crinkled with the smile and his silver eyes sparkled in the bedroom light. Cullen smiled back to him, hearing those words now did something to him; he felt the pride and love swell in his chest.

  “I love you too Dorian, I love you with all my heart,” he replied before he bent down to kiss him again. The kiss reflected the love that they shared and it made Cullen’s heart continue to swell, warming him and making him feel jittery inside.

                Titus joined the two in bed after they had finished their escapades for the night and were cuddling. Cullen laid on his back with Dorian on his left who was half draped on him. The blankets covered them both. Titus jumped up onto to the bed and curled into Cullen’s right side, also laying his head on his master. The Mabari licked at Dorian’s forehead and then Cullen’s hand when it absentmindedly came up to pet him while the two fell into sleep. Titus was happy to share the bed with the two of them, all three soon falling into some of the best sleep they’d ever had. Yes, even Titus loved Dorian; he loved the little family he could no protect with his life.


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nearing the end of summer and Cullen's got something he wants to ask Dorian.

                Cullen sighed contently; it was nearing the end of summer break. He couldn’t have wished for a better break or a better person to have spent it with. Dorian had broken Cullen’s daily routine and had instead taken him on adventures when they could. Sometimes it was just going out for a drive, other times Dorian would try making dinner. Dorian once took Cullen out to the country one day to have a dinner picnic with Titus, it ended up with sexy times anyway. Cullen didn’t care what they did, he still had his shop to run but he was happy to be able to take time off with his boyfriend. Titus was never left too long, Dorian always kept time out so he could take him to the dog park or Cullen could go out running with his pup to give them alone time. He’d occasionally switch up his shifts as well to give Cullen some time in the morning, Cullen wasn’t fond of that one but he managed well.

                The bright and warm summer sun shone down on the two men, lounging behind the coffee shop on their lunch breaks. Dorian was lying between Cullen’s raised knees; lounging on his boyfriend. Cullen had his arms around the Tevinter and Dorian’s head was on his shoulder. Cullen was warm in the hot sun; Dorian seemed to be comfortable finally.

  “Suppose school starts up soon, hmm?” Cullen asked him.

  “Mm, yeah,” Dorian breathed back, nearly asleep.

  “Won’t see you as much,” Cullen had thought about it before. It always made him sad when he knew that Dorian would be off studying again and he’d probably only get to see him once a day or so, maybe just to sleep. Dorian made a noise signifying that Cullen’s assumption wasn’t quite right.

  “I’ll be around, I’d like to continue to work for you. I can research at home mostly, some nights will be spent at the library but I’m nearly done with my dissertation,” he told him.

  “Really?”

  “Mhmm, I did a lot of it this summer.”

  “When?” Cullen picked up his head, the two had been leaning against the rock wall but on the opposite side that Cullen usually sat at which faced the shop.

  “When you weren’t looking,” Dorian picked up his head to smile at him. “I was sneaky,” he grinned. Cullen leaned to kiss him, it was a bit of a stretch but he made it work.

  “You’re amazing,” Cullen told him simply.

  “I know,” Dorian laughed, his eyes sparkling in the sun.

  “Will you marry me?” Cullen asked him, he figured now was as good of time as any. Dorian’s smile fell as he was proposed to.

  “Cullen! Quam ausus vis matrimonium sine positis genibus! Non cum simplex, mecum mihi! Propono iterum adiuro te ut, proprie!” Dorian sat up to ramble on his excited anger. Cullen was taken aback with the sudden onset of Tevene and the anger in Dorian’s face.

  “Is…that a no?” Cullen asked, he looked defeated. Dorian was confused for a moment before he realized that he meant to be speaking common tongue but spoke his native langage.

  “Amatus! I’m sorry!” he started, Cullen looked even more in despair; he’d better fix this and quick! “I didn’t realize I wasn’t speaking common tongue! I did not say no!” he turned in Cullen’s hold to face him better.

  “So then…yes?” Cullen looked a little more hopefully. Dorian chuckled at him.

  “No, I did not say that either,” Dorian shook his head.

  “Well what in Andraste’s name did you say, then?!” Cullen was angry with him.

  “I said: how dare you propose marriage without kneeling! You should know better than be so simple with me! I demand that you propose again, properly!” he pushed himself away from Cullen to stand up and fold his arms.

  “Oh…” Cullen looked up at him, no longer angry or confused. Instead, Cullen smiled up at his lover and pushed himself into standing. Dorian smiled back to him, trying to keep his angered guise up, but he failed since he knew what was coming. Cullen moved forward to kiss Dorian first, a simple kiss but that held such meaning. “Dorian Pavus?” Cullen started, sinking down on his right knee as he pulled Dorian's hands from their position to hold both of them in his own. He watched Dorian experience all the emotions at once, it wasn’t the typical female reaction that they’d seen, but it came close.

  “Yes, amatus?” he replied, his voice shaking with his unadulterated joy.

  “Will you become my husband and marry me?” Cullen asked, he moved Dorian’s hands to his left as he dug in his pocket to take something out. “Amor meus es,” he said, he’d learned a little Tevene secretly for this proposal. Dorian’s eyes lit up at the words and Cullen could practically see Dorian’s heart beat faster as his eyes watered. He hadn’t expected Dorian to cry but it seemed fitting, after all they’d gone through, seeing how much Dorian had grown in the past six months, and now as Cullen spoke Tevene to him.

  “Yes amatus! Yes!” he exclaimed, his hands starting to shake as he allowed Cullen to slip the deep golden ring onto his right hand ring finger. The ring fit perfectly, Dorian figured that Cullen had simply taken one of his rings to the jeweler to find out his size. Cullen stood up and swept Dorian into his arms to kiss him passionately. Dorian held tight to his husband to be, his lover, as they kissed and kissed while Cullen rocked them gently. He could feel all the love that Cullen had for him; he never wanted to leave this home and he was glad now that he could call this home.

                The pair walked hand in hand into the coffee shop to announce the good news. Everyone congratulated them with hugs and kisses, Cassandra almost let a tear shed when she saw the passion that they shared; she congratulated Cullen and told him that she was proud. The wedding would be held in the middle of the winter, Dorian had agreed to a snowy winter even though he’d be freezing. His icy cold hand would stretch out to accept the wedding band that Cullen would place on his finger. His shaky hand would recite his vows in both Tevene and the common tongue before he placed the band on Cullen’s ring finger; the hand was warm, always warm. The adjudicator announced husband and husband and that Cullen could kiss his bride-groom. Cullen pulled him in tightly; he was partially warming the Tevinter as he kissed him for the entire party to see. Cullen’s sister had come, joyous for the occasion even if it hadn’t been the kind of marriage she expected from Cullen; she was happy for him all the same when she saw how good they were to each other. Dorian hadn’t invited his family but the girls from the coffee shop were there, they were his family now. Cassandra had agreed to walk him down the aisle; he had been proud to walk with her. Iron Bull was there, cheering on the two of them loudly and then getting drunk at the reception. Cassandra had her hands full with that one.

                Dorian looked to Cullen during the reception. His husband, his, all his—and well, Titus’s of course too, but the man next to him was all his. He thought back to how this had all started, how Cullen had shaped his life so dramatically. He wondered briefly what would have happened had he stayed in Tevinter, he knew exactly what would have happened and his father would not have been pleased for it. In that moment, he realized that he didn’t actually care what his father thought of him anymore; he’d found himself a life and it was a damn good one. He wanted to burn this in his memory forever as he watched his husband talk and laugh with someone across the table. Cullen’s caramel brown eyes turned to him to smile at him; knowing, he always knew.

  “Do you need something darling?” Cullen asked him, placing a hand on Dorian’s knee.

  “A kiss, amatus, to let me know that this is all real, that I won’t wake up tomorrow and it’s a dream,” he told him. Cullen awed at him quietly but he did as was asked; he brought his left hand up to cradle Dorian’s jaw before he brought him in for a searing kiss; one that he knew Dorian would like. The photographer snapped a picture of the two and the reception cheered for them and their happiness. “I love you amatus,” he whispered.

  “I love you too darling,” Cullen told him with a smile. Titus popped up between the two and woofed at them, making everyone laugh. “Yes, yes Titus, we love you too,” Cullen told him, the two men kissed each of Titus’s cheeks as the Mabari lolled his tongue out and soaked up the attention. Yes, this was going to be a good life indeed.


End file.
